SOS
by SuperKymanfan
Summary: KyleXCartman. Summary for chapter one:Cartman reads something online, and wants to try it. Summary for entire story: This story will be a journey for all of our favorite south park friends. I plan on making this very long. WARNING: Adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: The following may include: Adult themes, strong language, prepubescent sexual conduct, homosexuality, bullying, alcoholism. You have been warned.

Note: Please excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own South park. (Obviously.)

Chapter one

"Hey, Kahl!"

Kyle turned around, surprised to see Cartman in the doorway to the bathroom. Kyle quickly slipped his trademark hat back on, slightly embarrassed to be seen without it on. His three friends and him were all at Cartman's house. At first they were all playing video games until Cartman, after losing a good few times, rage quitted, and left the three, locking himself in his bedroom. Half an hour later, Kyle went upstairs to the bathroom to fidget with his hair. By now Stan and Kenny, if they hadn't left already, were probably on their way out the door, as they had told Kyle they were planning on leaving since they were bored and Cartman had left. Kyle hadn't opposed, as he too had become bored. Video games were only fun for so long.

"What?" Kyle asked.

"...What were you doing with your hair?"

"Nothing, I wasn't doing anything…" Kyle replied defensively, "Now, what were you gonna say?"

"Well, I was just on my computer, and I read something really interesting!"

"What?"

"Well, this may sound kinda weird, but I think it's something worth trying." Cartman pulled something from behind his back. "We'll pry need this to do it though."

Kyle took the item from the chubby boy's hand. "Body oil?"

"Yeah, I was on the internet,and I stumbled across this website. It said that certain parts of your body can make you feel extremely good if you touch them the right way."

Kyle lifted an eyebrow at the larger boy. "Really? What parts?"

"Well, apparently for a guy, touching his weiner a certain way can make them feel really good, almost like getting high."

"Really? Are you sure? I've touched mine before, but I didn't feel anything…"

"You probably just weren't doing it right. Plus, I read that if you have someone else do it to you, it feels waaay better."

"...How are you supposed to touch it?"

"Well, you're supposed to stroke it in your hand over and over again until it starts to feel good or something."

"Huh. But what the hell is this for?" Kyle gestured to the body oil.

"The website said that you need to use some sort of ointment to prevent your skin from getting a friction burn, and it said skin oil could work fine."

Kyle looked at the bottle, and then at Cartman. "I don't know if I want to… can't you just do it to yourself?"

"Well I guess, but then It wouldn't work as well, and it'd be boring to do it alone. Besides, I'd probably look really stupid." Kyle still had an unsure look on his face. "Oh, c'mon, don't you want to try it?"

"Well I guess I am curious now…" Kyle replied.

"Good, then let's do it. First, we'll need to lather our hands in the body oil."

"Oh, uh right." Kyle lifted the lid on the bottle.

Cartman swiped the bottle out of Kyle's hand. "Not so fast _Kahl_ , I'm going to do you first."

"What? Why?"

"Che, because I'll probably be way better at it then you," Cartman replied. "Besides, it was _my_ Idea, so I should be the one to decides who goes first, and I nominate you to be the guinea pig."

"Fine, whatever." Kyle replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

Cartman tilted the bottle and poured a generous amount of the oil into his palm, and rubbed it all over his hands.

"Alright Kyle, unzip your pants."

Kyle lowered his hand to do just that, but stopped. "Wait… I feel kind of embarrassed…"

"Don't be, It's not like I haven't seen it before. You're not special Kyle, Now stop being such a girl, and whip your dick out already. Besides, I already covered my hands in oil."

Hesitantly, the red head unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. "There, that's all I can do. You're gonna have to do the rest."

The heavier boy huffed. "Alright, _fine_."

Cartman closed the distance between him and his friend and reached down into the boys boxers until he grabbed the desired organ in his hand, and began stroking it.

"Eek! Your hands are cold!" Kyle yelped, shuddering slightly.

"Sorry. Don't worry, they'll warm up."

After a moment, Kyle got a little more used to the feeling. It was starting to feel… really strange. But also kind of good…

"Well?"

"It… It feels weird… but also kind of good…" Kyle replied.

Cartman picked up his pace, moving his hand faster. Kyle could feel himself having a hard time standing, and grabbed onto Cartman's arms for support.

"Th-that feels really… keep doing that…" Kyle said, his breaths getting sharper.

Cartman continued at a steady pace. "Do you feel good yet?"

"Yeah…" Kyle replied, "But I think it works better if you go faster. Can you go even faster?"

"Sure." Cartman replied, and sped up his pace.

"Ah! Oh my god… Oh god…" Kyle, having an even harder time standing up, leaned onto Cartman even more. He could feel his face flush, and closed his eyes to better focus on the feeling of his lower body. Cartman's hand was feeling more and more amazing to him as each second passed.

"Wa- wait! I feel like i'm gonna-" was all Kyle managed to say before, to his horror, he felt something come out. Cartman then pulled his hand away. "I-I'm so sorry!" Kyle apologized, "I didn't mean to-"

"Kyle, relax. That's supposed to happen." Cartman reassured him, wiping his hand off on a towel.

"Really?"

"Yea, don't worry. It just means that your finished."

"O-oh." Kyle let out a chuckle of relief.

"So how was it? Did it… feel good?"

"Uh…" Kyle felt his face turn redder, zipping himself back up, "It's kinda hard to describe… but yeah, It felt really good."

Cartman stared at his friend like he were odd. "...You sure looked like you enjoyed it. Is it really that good?"

Kyle shrugged, embarrassed, though he couldn't figure out why. "It was okay I guess…"

"Huh. Oh well, guess I get to find out." Cartman replied, tossing the oil to Kyle. "Now do me."

"Right." Kyle lathered up his hands in the slick oil. It felt good, and it smelled good too.

By the time Kyle was finished and stepped over to Cartman, he already had his pants unzipped. Trying to imitate what Cartman had done, Kyle slipped his hands down, and wrapped his hand around the younger boy's member. The oil made it much easier to stroke the sensitive skin. Curios, Kyle looked up at Cartman face.

The boy was already blushing lightly, and was looking off to the side.

At first Kyle worried he was doing something wrong until he heard Cartman begin to pant and even moan slightly. "Ah…."

Feeling encouraged, Kyle sped up his pace, surprising the other boy. "Ah! He-hey… it's getting hard to stand…"

"Just lean against me."

Cartman did just that, and Kyle concentrated on Cartman's face, almost transfixed. He had an almost troubled expression, and his face was red. 'He looks kinda cute…' went through Kyle's mind. Wait? What the heck? Why would he think that?

Wanting to see Cartman's expression change even more, Kyle sped up his pace as fast as he could.

"Ah!...ah…" Cartman moaned. He seemed to be lasting longer than Kyle had. "Kyle, that's… that's…"

Cartman almost felt like he was gonna crumple to the ground from the sensation, and couldn't contain his moans anymore. "Ah! Ah… ah… ah!"

Kyle felt something sticky pool into his hand, realized that this meant Cartman must be finished, and retracted his hand.

"Holy shit…" Cartman said, sliding down the wall, "That was amazing…"

Kyle washed his hands off in the sink. He couldn't help but grin a little, and feel slightly giddy.

"We seriously have to do that again sometime."

Cartman stood up and looked over towards the jewish boy.

"Hey, where are Stan and Kenny?"

"They left already."

"Lame. Wanna play video games for a little longer?"

"Just the two of us?"

"Yea."

Kyle thought for a moment. It wasn't like he had anything better to do, so he agreed. "Okay." ********

Days went by as usual, and Cartman asked his group of friends if they wanted to come over for a sleepover, and they all agreed.

The night of the sleepover the gang spent the evening watching movies, playing games, and eating junk food, uninterrupted until late when they all voted to go to bed.

The four boys all got cozy in there sleeping bags and closed there eyes. When Cartman thought that everyone was asleep, he scooted off his bed and shook Kyle by his shoulder.

"Kyle, wake up." Cartman whispered.

"Whu? Huh?" Kyle blinked his eyes open. "What do you want Cartman?"

"Let's do that thing again real quick?"

"What thing…" Kyle quickly remembered the event from a few days ago. "Oh… _that_." Kyle shifted nervously in his sleeping bag. "You wanna do that now?"

"Yeah, c'mon."

"I don't know…"

"C'mon, please? Don't you want to feel that way again?"

"Hmmm…" Kyle quickly decided that he did kinda want to feel that good again, so he agreed "Alright, I'm coming."

The two boys walked over to the bathroom, Kyle wiping sleep from his eye.

Cartman flipped the lightswitch to on, and shut the door. He pulled the body oil from behind his back. "I already got this…"

Kyle took the bottle from him. "Want me to do you first?"

"Yeah, okay."

Kyle tipped the bottle and poured the oil into his hands, and then stepped closer to the heavier boy who already had his pajama bottoms lowered slightly.

Kyle reached down and began stroking the boy's sensitive organ slowly. He watched Cartman face closely as he quickened his pace. "...Feel good yet?"

Cartman nodded, afraid what would come out if he opened his mouth. "Yeah- ah!" The larger boy squeezed his eyes shut, his face hot, and grabbed onto Kyle's arms to support his shaking legs. Kyle couldn't quite place the flustered feeling he felt in his stomach as he watched Cartman's face and listened to the sweet sound of him moaning.

"Ah… ah! ah...hah…"

Cartman's breaths became heavier.

"Im… Im close…" was all he managed to say before he felt the sensation of release.

Kyle quickly pulled his hand away, And the larger boy cleaned himself up. Despite it being over, His face was still red and he was still panting a little.

'"...Well, I guess I'll do you now."

"Yeah, ok…" Kyle replied, wiping off his hands. "But um… this is actually becoming really embarrassing, so can I face away from you?"

Cartman nodded. "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea." He said as he lathered his hands with the oil.

Kyle propped himself up against the wall on his forearms, and waited. He felt the larger boy step up from behind, and begin touching him. At first the strokes were slow, so Kyle could get used to the feeling, but eventually they sped up a little bit, making Kyle feel really good.

"Ah! ah…" kyle moaned.

"feel good yet?"

"Y-yeah, that f-feels good…" Kyle managed to respond. "Can you go even faster?"

"Sure." Cartman replied, speeding up his pace.

Kyle could no longer hold back his moans as the larger boy sped up his pace. "Ah! Ah! ...ah… Ah, I'm- ah! I'm about to-" was all Kyle managed to say before he felt the similar feeling of something coming out, and then Cartman pulling his hand away.

Cartman washed his hands, as Kyle pulled his pants back up. "Hey Cartman, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Have you… done this when anyone else? With Stan or Kenny?"

"No, just you." Cartman replied, and then added, "It wouldn't be as fun with one of them."

Kyle didn't know why this made him smile.

"What about you?" Cartman asked.

"No, no one."

"Oh… good… It's like our special thing then…"

"Let's go to bed now?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, let's go."

The two boys left the bathroom and went to sleep. ********

For the next couple of days, Kyle found himself wanting to spend more time with Cartman, and the two hung out more together, sometimes just the two of them. They even didn't fight like they usually did, and were being nice to each other. Their other two friends were beginning to notice.

Stan walked into Cartman's house saturday afternoon to find _his_ best friend playing videogames with Cartman. Alone. just the two of them. They were even sitting closer to eachother than usual.

"Dude, Kyle, what the hell? Why have you and Cartman gotten so close lately?"  
Kyle looked over to his best friend, slightly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"These past two days, you've been spending all your time hanging out with him."

Kyle thought about it. Come to think of it, him and Cartman had seemed to have gotten closer lately. But Kyle couldn't think of a specific reason why. Kyle shrugged, "I don't know, Cartman's just been really cool lately."

"Yeah. And Kyle's been pretty cool lately too. So what if we hang out a little?" Cartman added.

Stan let out a huff of annoyance. "Whatever." He said, and then left.

Monday at school, Kyle realized that he felt uneasy about what Cartman and him had been doing, and decided he needed to talk to someone, so he made his way over to the counselor's office.

"Hi ."

"Hello Kyle, there something you need to talk to me about?"

The redhead shifted in his seat nervously. "Uh, yeah, I think so. It's just… It's a little embarrassing…"

"Don't worry Kyle, you don't need to feel embarrassed when you talk to me, m'kay? I want you to feel comfortable about talking to me about anything, that's what I'm here for. Anything you say in this office is completely confidential. Anything we discuss doesnt leave this room if you don't want it too, m'kay?

The redhead nodded. "Okay. I just had a question about something."

The large headed man nodded, "Alright."

Kyle took a deep breath, before asking, "Is it normal for two friends to occasionally… touch each other a little? Y'know, to feel good?"

looked at Kyle Questionably. "You mean… like hugging each other?"

"No, not that," Kyle said, "Like… touching each other's private areas a little bit cause it feels good."

"Oh… oh!" replied, startled, "Well Kyle, that's usually something that adults do, not 10 year olds like yourself…" Kyle was silent for a moment. "Kyle have you… have you been doing this with a classmate?"

Kyle felt very embarrassed, but nodded.

After a pause, said, "...M'kay... well, as I said, you really shouldn't be doing that sort of thing at your age."

"Why not?"

"Well, that sort of thing is considered sexual, m'kay, and it's what two adults do when they're in love with each other."

Kyle gave his counselor a confused look. "Sexual? I thought that was when two people try to have a baby together?"

strung his fingers together. "Kyle, It's true that here at school we teach children that sex is something that a man and a women do for having children only, but a lot of the time people have sex just to pleasure each other, y'know, make each other feel good, m'kay?"

Kyle sat at the edge of his seat. Had what he and Cartman doing… been sexual? "I- I think I have to go." kyle said, jumping up and leaving the room.

Kyle didn't want to face Cartman, but knew he had to. After school, Kyle went to talk to Cartman at his house.

"Cartman, we need to talk."

"Oh, hey Kyle. What about?"

"It's about… that thing we've been doing together."

"Oh." Cartman blushed slightly. "Do you want to do it right now?"

"What? No! Cartman look, I think what we've been doing together is… considered sex."

Cartman gave the jewish boy a confused look. "What? I thought sex was when people try to have a baby-"

"Yeah, I know, I did to." Kyle interrupted, "But apparently making someone feel good counts as sex."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I even checked the internet."

Cartman had a horrified look on his face. "Dude, I didn't know! I swear!"

"Neither did I, alright? I think the best thing to do is for us to forget about it and never do it again, and _definitely_ never tell anyone about it. Alright?"

Cartman nodded. "Yeah, okay…"

Kyle didn't understand why part of him felt sad, but regardless, knew he and Cartman were doing the right thing. ********

A few nights later, the four boys were once again having a sleepover at Cartman's house, but Kyle was having a hard time falling asleep. He kept shifting and rolling over in his sleeping bag. His thoughts kept drifting to what Cartman and him had done.

Kyle felt someone shaking his shoulder. "Kyle? Are you awake?"

Kyle turned over to see Cartman right next to him.

"Yeah…" He replied "Why? What is it?"

"I.. I can't sleep."

Kyle felt himself blush a little. "...I can't either." He admitted.

There was a moment of silence before Cartman asked, "Hey Kyle? Do you think we could do that thing one more time?"

"You know we can't! Were not supposed to…"

"Yeah, but we've already done it twice. What's it gonna hurt if we do it just one more time?"

Kyle considered this. He felt torn. Part of him knew it was bad, but another part knew that he really wanted to do it.

Cartman reached over, and stroked Kyle's arm lightly. "C'mon, don't you want to?"

Kyle felt himself cave in. "Alright, fine. Just one more time."

The two boys walked over to the bathroom. "Do you want me to do you first?" Cartman asked, after shutting the door behind them.

"No, It's okay, I can do you first."

Cartman gave the older boy and empathetic look. "Or… we could both do each other at the same time?"

"...Okay." Was Cartman's reply.

Both boys lathered their hands in oil, and positioned themselves in front of each other. Kyle slid his hand in first, followed by Cartman.

Kyle immediately welcomed the familiar good feeling, the quilt now the farthest thing from his mind as he let himself become engrossed by the feeling.

Cartman let out a whimper of delight as Kyle picked up his pace in hopes that Cartman would to, which he did. Kyle began panting slightly and turned his head to look over at the larger boy. The two locked eyes with each other, as they continued, not wanting to break the eye contact.

'ever' Kyle thought to himself. He wanted to feel like this forever. It was a long shot, but Kyle had the urge lean over and… no he couldn't… could he?

After weighing whether to or not, Kyle decided to just go ahead and try, and leaned forward the inch necessary and kissed the larger boy.

At first Cartman didn't respond, but after the shock wore off, began kissing the older boy back.

It was a battle of their mouths attacking each other, no holding back. As they feverishly kissed each other like it were the one thing they'd always wanted, they continued to speed up their pace until both boys were in heaven.

They panted across each others mouths, leaning against each other for support as they finished off.

"Ah! ah… "Kyle moaned between kisses, finally feeling himself release.

"Ah!" With a final moan, Cartman finished as well, and the two panted heavily, holding each other upright.

Kyle thought that Cartman was going to get mad when he felt him grab him by the shoulders, push him up against the wall, and began deeply kissing him.

Kyle closed his eyes, and even though he knew he shouldn't, held the boy close and kissed back. Eventually, after a minute, the boys separated, a trail of saliva still connecting them. Kyle was almost sad it was over, but he was tired.

"Let's go to bed now, yeah?"

The boys tiptoed back into Cartman's room, still standing close. Kyle really didn't want to have to let go of Cartman, so he asked, "Can I sleep on your bed with you?"

Cartman nodded, and the two boys slipped under his covers, holding each other in their arms. *********

When Kyle Broflovski woke that fateful thursday morning, It was to the sound of his friends voice as he was shaken awake.

"Kyle, wake up!"

The redhead blinked his eyes open. "Stan?"

His other friend, Kenny Mccormick, spoke up. "Why are you sleeping in Cartman's bed?"

The memories of the events of the previous night all came back to him in a flash,and he sat up. "Uhh…" Was all Kyle managed to say.

The heavier boy, due to all the commotion, began to wake, and sat up. "What are you guys doing?" He asked, groggily.

"Were taking him away from you." Stan replied, gesturing to his best friend Kyle, "You guys have been actin way too close lately, and it's weird." Stan began dragging the jewish boy towards the door. "C'mon Kyle, we already got your stuff, now let's go."

Cartman may have been groggy, but he wasn't to groggy to feel a little sad watching Kyle be taken away from him. He also wasn't to groggy to see a similar sad look on Kyle as he was dragged out the door.

On the way to school, against their other two friends wishes, Kyle and Cartman chose to sit beside each other on the school bus. Stan and kenny sat behind them, constantly pulling them apart whenever they tried to lean closer to each other, or hold hands.

Once at school, the pair weren't much better. They tried to hold hands in the hallway, but were briskly pulled apart by their other two friends. At lunch, Stan guided Kyle to sit with him, and Kenny made Cartman follow him to the other side of the cafeteria.

"Ay!" Cartman protested. "Why can't I sit with Kyle?"

"Mmmph mmph, mph." Kenny replied.

Not more than a glance was shared between the two boys for the rest of the school day.

That evening, Kyle twiddled with his phone. It was late,and everyone in his house was already asleep, except for him. All he could think about was how much he wanted to see his heavy friend. He blushed at the thought.

Kyle scrolled through his list of contacts on his phone, until stopping at a particular name. He bit down on his bottom lip, until finally lightly tapping the name with his thumb.

Cartman picked up his phone when he heard it ringing. "...Hello?"

"Hey." Kyle replied simply.

"Oh… hey." Cartman replied. He could feel his face heat up just from the sound of the familiar voice. "...Whats up?"

"It's too bad we couldn't hang out together at school…"

"Yea…" Cartman replied, "It sucks…"

Kyle was silent for a moment, just breathing into the phone.

"Ya still there?" Cartman asked.

"Yes" Kyle replied.

"Oh… good."

"Cartman I…" Kyle paused for a moment, " I want to kiss you so bad…"

There was only silence on the other end for a moment, until Kyle heard Cartman reply, "...I want to kiss you too…"

Kyle felt his heart race from hearing those words. "I wanna touch you…"

"I wanna touch you, too."

The conversation was almost too much for Kyle, reminding him of that special feeling him and Cartman could share together. He wanted to feel that way again so bad… more than ever…

"I'm coming over." Kyle said, before hanging up the phone.

Cartman thought he was kidding, but felt his heart skip a beat when he heard a knocking sound at his window.

It was Kyle. Cartman quickly walked over to the window to let him in. After Kyle stepped in, Cartman shut the window again.

First thing, Kyle wrapped Cartman in a tight hug, which Cartman returned. It felt nice, and comforted both of them. They stayed like that for a moment, until Kyle backed away a little, until the two boys could look into each other's eyes. Without a word, Kyle shut his eyes and placed his lips onto Cartman's. Their kiss was slow and deep, and passionate. Kyle felt like he was in heaven at the brunette caressed his arms in soft stroking motions.

Part of Kyle thought that he should object when he felt the younger boy slide his hand under his shirt, but didn't stop him. Nor did he stop him as the brunette tugged on his shirt, but rather peeled the hindering piece of clothing off his body, and threw it to the floor. eventually, the two found themselves both shirtless, and on Cartman's bed. Kyle was on top of the larger boy, the two still kissing deeply and passionately. Kyle loved the way it felt as Cartman's hands roamed his body, his own hands caressing the soft unblemished skin of the boy beneath him.

"Touch me…" Kyle panted, "down there…"

Kyle felt a surge of pleasure as Cartman slid his hand beneath the hem of his pajamas and began stroking him. Kyle decided to return the favor, and savored Cartman's delicious moans as he rubbed him below the waist.

Cartman's skin felt like velvet beneath him, and was really beginning to feel good when he heard Cartman whisper in his ear, "Take your pants off…"

Kyle moved off of him, and removed both his pants and underwear, knowing what Cartman meant. Cartman did the same. Kyle climbed back on top, and was surprised by the feeling of both of their lower regions brushing against each other. It felt heavenly, and both moaned as the rocked their hips.

Eventually, Kyle brought his hand back down, and stroked the both of them. Even after both of them came, they continued to kiss and touch each other for hours, neither of them ever wanting the night to end. Finally, Kyle knew he would have to head back home soon, and put his clothes back on. Before he left through the window though, he gave Cartman one last soft goodnight kiss.

Kyle snuck back to his room, and fell asleep completely exhausted by the previous activity the two engaged in. ********

The next morning, when Kyle got to the bus stop, all of his friends were there. His friend Stan had something he wanted to say to him.

"Look, now that you're both here, I just wanted to say that, well… If you two are becoming close friends, then maybe It's a good thing…" Stan looked at the ground. "Me and Kenny are sorry for keeping you two apart yesterday. If you two want to hang out together more than it should be your decision, not ours."

"Mmmph mmph mmmph." Kenny added, in an apologetic tone.

Kyle smiled at his two friends "Thanks you guys. That makes me feel great. I'm happy to hear that."

Kyle then walked over to stand beside Cartman. Cartman held out his hand with a bashful expression on his face, and Kyle took the heavier boy's hand in his own.

When the bus arrived, the two sat together, sitting close, their small hands intertwined. Only this time, they didn't have to worry about being pulled apart. *******


	2. Chapter 2

Kyle felt a small nudge from behind and turned around. He saw his familiar blonde classmate.

"Hey Butters, what's up?"

"Oh, hey Kyle." The timid boy relied, "It's real nice you and Eric have been getting along so much lately."

"Yeah…." Kyle replied.

A lot of the other kids at school occasionally poked fun at how close Cartman and him were, so it was nice that at least Butters thought it was a good change. However, this wasn't what was eating at Kyle. Something else was. For days, Kyle had been yearning to talk to someone about it. Him and Cartman. The things they did behind closed doors. Adults didn't really seem like a plausible option, avoiding the topic and just telling him "Wait till you're older." Whatever the hell that meant. None of his classmates or friends fit the bill, either. The mere thought of bringing it up to one of them made chills run down his spine. But… maybe he could tell Butters.

"Hey Butters… can I ask you something?"

"Sure." The boy replied.

"Okay… but not here. It's something… really personal, and I think you're the only person I can talk to about it."

After agreeing on the boys bathroom as a suitable location, the two boys walked there. After double checking for anyone, Kyle felt it was safe.

"What did you want to ask me?"

"Well, actually, It has something to do with why Cartman and I have been so close lately. You swear you won't tell anyone?"

"Uh, Yeah, sure I won't."

"Well, It's just that… about two weeks ago, Cartman came to me with an Idea he had read about on the internet, and at the time neither of us realized what it was… but even after we found out, we kept doing it anyways. I tried to talk to about it, but he just blew me off, and I don't know who else to talk to about this."

The blond boy raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Well, what did you two do exactly?"

"We… touched each other. But, only because it felt good, and we thought it was harmless… but now it's all I think about… I feel like I'm doing something bad, but I'm afraid to talk to anyone about it. Until now…"

"Touch each other?" The boy questioned, "What do you mean?"

"Like…" Kyle shifted nervously, "Like… y'know, the most sensitive place on a guy?"

"Oh, you mean each other's weiners?"

Kyle nodded his head, bashfully.

The two were quiet for a moment, until Butters spoke up again.

"Why don't you just do it yourself?"

Kyle looked up. "Huh?"

"Yeah, If you do it to yourself, It's called master… uh.. some long word. If you just do it to yourself once a day, you'll feel better."

"Do it… myself?"

"Yeah. I can show you how if you want me to."

Kyle nodded, "Ok, but let's go in a stall just in case someone comes in?"

The two schoolmates locked themselves in the largest stall, and after a little coaxing, Kyle pulled his pants down.

"Just put your hand around it, and stroke it back and forth."

"Wait, what about some sort of lubrication?"

"What?"

"Uh, well, whenever Cartman and I do this, we use body oil to prevent friction burn." Kyle explained.

"Wow, really? I didn't even know about that… Not that I've ever done this before…"

"You have not?"

"No, I just know how to do it, that's all." The blonde boy thought for a moment. "You could always use your spit?"

"Ew, no." kyle instantly responded. "Well… okay." Both boys spat into their hands.

"Now, all you have to do, is stroke it over and over again until you climax."

The redhead nodded, and began doing just that. At first he didn't feel much of anything, but after a bit, it began to feel a little good, similar to when Cartman touched him, only different. It was… more predictable.

"Ah… ah…" Kyle moaned. Feeling a bit bored, He looked up at the blonde in front of him who to was stroking himself.

Butters was also panting a little bit, but had his eyes closed. Kyle couldn't take his eyes away until he felt himself becoming very close, and shut his eyes, feeling the familiar feeling of release in his own hand. Just a moment later, Butters came to.

The two boys took a moment to catch their breathe.

"So? How was it?" The blonde asked.

"It was.. okay…" The redhead replied.

"See? Now you can just do it yourself whenever you want to?"

Kyle smiled, "Yeah, I guess so… thanks Butters…"

The two boys left the bathroom, and their day continued as normal. Kyle didn't bother to hang around close to Cartman for the rest of the day. He didn't have a reason to anymore, right? *******

For the next few days, Whenever Cartman asked Kyle if he wanted to engage in their secret activity, Kyle would decline.

Finally, Cartman caught up with him in the hallway one day at school and asked him about it. "Why have you not wanted to do it lately? Are you sick of it?"

Kyle let a sigh. "No, that's not it. It's just that… well… for the past few days I've been doing it alone. And I think you should to."

"You've been doing it… by yourself?"

"Yeah."

Cartman was quiet for a moment. "...But doesn't it not feel as good that way?"

"No, it still feels pretty good actually. I can show you how to in the bathroom?"

"Show me?"

"Yea, C'mon." Kyle tugged on the boy's sleeve.

The two boys locked themselves into a stall. "Okay, first pull down your pants. Next your gonna want to spit in your hand to prevent friction burn."

"Oh, that's okay-" The chubby boy pulled the bottle of body oil out of his pocket. Blushing slightly he added, "I… carry this around with me now."

"Oh, then that'll work even better."

The heavier boy put some of the oil in his palm. "Next, all you have to do is wrap your hand around it and stroke it over and over."

Cartman followed the instructions and began stroking himself. After a little bit, he began panting and moaning. "Hah… ah…"

Kyle watched eagerly. He had the sudden urge to touch himself too as he watched the larger boy. After a moment's hesitation, Kyle began touching himself through his jeans and panting slightly as he did so, his eyes now half lidded.

Cartman kept his eyes off to the side from embarrassment until he became closer, and shut them. "Hah… ahh… ah!" With a final moan, Cartman felt himself finish.

Kyle briskly pulled his hand away. "So… how was it? Was it good?"

"Yeah, it was okay…" Cartman replied.

"This way, we can just do this by ourselves?"

"Yeah... I guess we can..."

"Good. I guess i'll see you later than."

Both boys left the bathroom, and returned to their normal school activities. ******

The next day at school during lunch period, Kyle went to sit by his best friend, Stan Marsh. Cartman and him had not been so close lately, and his best friend had noticed.

"Wow, i'm surprised you're not glued to Cartman's hip like you usually are at lunch break." Stan jeered as soon as Kyle sat down.

Kyle felt his face go red, but just brushed the comment off.

Later that evening, Kyle lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. Touching himself down there felt good, but… It wasn't the same as when someone else did it. ...No, this was definitely for the best. He felt a little less guilty about it. It was bad enough he was doing it to just himself. Doing it with another person, with… Cartman, was just too much.

He told himself this, yet found his phone in his hand, finger hovering over a certain name in his contacts. Dare he…?

Cartman lay in his bed, tired from his previous day. He liked to go to bed early when it was just him at his house, and not in the company of his friends. However, before he had a chance to doze off, he heard the familiar chime of his phone ringing. He picked up his phone.

"Hello?"

"...Hey."

"Oh." The chubby boy sat up, "Hey Kyle."

"..."

"Did you want something?"

"Yeah, I… was wonder if… you had done it to yourself… yet…"

"Oh! Uh… no, I havn't…"

"Oh… okay. Wanna… do it right now? Both of us over the phone?"

Cartman glanced uneasily around his room. Should he? What the heck, why not.

"Yeah, alright."

"Cool." Kyle replied. Kyle grabbed a bottle of lotion on his nightstand, and prepped himself.

After he was finished, he asked Cartman over the phone- "You ready?"

After a moment delay, the heavier boy replied, "Yeah."

Kyle began stroking himself slowly, shamelessly panting into his phone. "How… how far are you?" He panted into his phone.

The redhead felt the most highest of satisfaction when he heard the sound of Cartman moaning into the phone. "Pretty… ah… close…"

"M-me to…" The redhead replied, speeding up his pace. Kyle shut his eyes, doing his best to focus on the heavier boys moans… pretending that it was _his_ hand stroking him, and not his own...

"Ah! Ah… ah…" Kyle moaned into the phone, feeling himself very close, "I'm... about to…" was all he managed to say, before feeling the pleasure of release.

Seconds later, he heard Cartman finish as well over the phone.

Quilt took over the young redheads body. Wasn't this.. cheating somehow? I mean sure, Cartman wasn't actually present, but they had both listened to each other when they came…

"...You still there, Kahl?" The chubby boy asked.

"Uh yeah. I'll see you at school tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay..."

"Bye."

"Bye."

With a tap, Kyle ended the phone call, and set his phone down. He curled up into a ball and fell asleep. **********

The next day, Kyle sat beside Stan on the school bus. He had been doing this lately. When he got to school, he did his best to avoid his heavier friend. A little distance between the two of them seemed like the best Idea to him. However, as fate had it, the two bumped into each other later that day.

At recess, Kyle ran into the bathroom to wash his hands. They were a bit sweaty. Maybe splash some water on his face whilst he was at it.

However, the moment he opened that door and stepped in, his mind froze. Over by the sinks was Cartman. Maybe he had the same Idea?

He couldn't just ignore him… and maybe some part of him, deep inside, really did want to confront the larger boy.

"Hey Cartman."

The brunette turned around, surprised. "Oh. Hey Kyle..."

Kyle didn't really know what else to say. should he bring up the phone call? Before the redhead could decide, Cartman beat him to the chase.

"The phone call we shared last night was nice…"

"Yeah…" It was nice, wasn't it?

Kyle hadn't realized how off guard he was, until he felt Cartman grab his shoulders and whisper in his ear, "I… pretended it was you… touching me."

Kyle felt himself blushing profusely from this. "I…" Kyle voice was shaking ever so slightly, "I was doing the exact same thing…"

In a matter of seconds, the two boys lips were on each other, kissing each other passionately. Kyle's mind was clouded with a mix of emotions which he couldn't name, but somehow found enough sense in himself to break apart from the other boy just long enough to say- "Wait… what if someone see's?"

"Shit, you're right-" the larger boy replied, and half dragged Kyle into a stall, locking the door behind them. Cartman slammed the smaller boy against the stalls door, and mashed their mouths together in a deep, needy kiss. It was wet, and hot, and just what Kyle needed. Just when he thought it couldn't get any better, Kyle felt Cartman's hand palming him through his jeans. Kyle shamelessly moaned in delight in response.

Multitasking, Cartman continued kissing the redhead, not slowing down his pace. Kyle, too, began stroking Cartman through his jeans.

'This is so hot…' Kyle thought to himself, as their kiss deepened.

"Ah- hah… I'm close, Kahl…" Cartman murmured between pants. Kyle also felt like he was going to come, but just then, a sound broke him from his trance. The sound of a door swiveling open.

Kyle pushed the larger boy off of him. "I'm sorry but… I can't do this…" Kyle managed to stutter out, before leaving both the stall and the bathroom.

Kyle didn't even look at the people he passed by. He just needed to go outside. He just needed some fresh air… *********

Kyle continued the charade of ignoring Cartman for the rest of the day. The next morning, he felt like crap. the night before, just before falling asleep, he found himself thinking about his encounter with the heavier boy earlier that day, his hand wandering downward. He felt so torn. Part of him wanted to end this as he had planned, erase the quilt, but another part of him… yearned for Cartman's touch. Oh man, what the hell was he gonna do?

Butters voice broke Kyle from his thoughts.

"H-hey Kyle. How's it going?"

"I Don't feel so great, actually..." Kyle admitted.

"Aw gee, really?" Butters frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that, Kyle." There was a moment of silence before Butters asked, "Have you been doing that thing I showed you?"

"Yeah."

"So uh… do you like doing it?"

"I guess…" Kyle replied, "But… It's totally different from having someone else do it."

"Wow really, it is?"

"Yeah. Completely different."

"I guess I wouldn't know… I've never had someone do it for me."

Kyle looked at the blond boy. "I could show you."

Butters blinked in surprise. "Oh, gee… you don't have to-"

"No, It's fine." Kyle insisted, "C'mon, we'll do it in the bathroom."

With a little coaxing, Kyle managed to drag the blonde into a stall with him.

"Using our spit would be kinda gross, Do you have anything on you we could use?"

"Oh, uh…" The blonde dug a small tube out of his pocket, "I have this moisturizer?"

"That'll work perfect…" Kyle dabbed a generous glob into his palm, and then handed the tube back to Butters. Butters dispersed some into his own hand as well.

"You ready?" Kyle asked, after undoing his pants.

"Uh, I think so…"

Kyle took a step closer, and then dipped his hand down until it took hold of the smaller boys most sensitive organ.

"Ah!" The blonde gasped, "your hands are kinda cold…"

"Don't worry, they'll warm up." The redhead assured, "Do me too…"

"Oh- right…" The blonde mirrored Kyle's action, and began stroking him.

Kyle quickened his pace. "Feel good yet?"

"Y-yeah, I do…" Butters replied. "Ah…"

Butters quickened his pace as well, until both of them were panting.

"Ah! hah… ah…" Kyle moaned, "I… I think I'm close…"

"M-me too…"

With a few more firm strokes, both boys felt the familiar sensation of release. Panting, the two leaned against the wall for a moment to catch their breaths.

"...So? Did you like it?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, It felt really good…"

"I told you so."

Both boys left the stall to wash their hands, and then returned to their normal school activities. At first, Kyle felt better than before, but as the day wore on, he felt a new sense of guilt. How was he gonna explain to Cartman what he had done? ********

Everybody loved fridays. It was a day of relaxation and anticipation for the weekend to come. However, that particular day was anything but relaxing for Kyle. Reason be was because, well… he was going to tell Cartman about what Butters and him had done. He just had a gut feeling that Cartman wasn't going to take the news well. The stress of knowing this, caused Kyle to wait till the last minute to tell the heavier boy. At the end of the day.

Kyle approached Cartman. Luckily, no one was near.

"Hey Cartman?"

Cartan turned to look. "Oh, hey Kyle…"

If Kyle already felt this awkward, imagine how he felt bringing up his rendezvous with the Blonde

"There's… something I need to tell you…"

"What is it?"

"Well… It's just…" Kyle shuffled his feet nervously, "Yesterday me and Butters were talking and… one thing led to another and well… we sort of… did it to each other. Y'know…. made each other come…In the bathroom..."

"What? You did it with him?!"

"Uh, well yeah, but I was just trying to show him-"

Kyle was cut off by Cartman saying angrily, "I'm going to fucking kill him!"

Kyle watched in shock as Cartman stormed down the hallway, "Cartman, wait!" He yelled after him, but It was fruitless.

Shit. Cartman looked really mad. If Cartman did find Butters, he was going to turn the poor boy into a pretzel. Kyle realized that his only option was to try to find Butters first so he could warn him. Kyle ran down the hallway in the opposite direction Cartman had, when he felt someone walk into him.

"Oh gee, sorry Kyle…"

"Butters!" Kyle gasped, both surprised and relieved.

"Hey, uh, I'm actually really glad I bumped into you. There's something I wanted to tell you."

"What is it?" Kyle asked, heart still pounding in his chest.

"Well, It's just that… that thing we did yesterday... I don't think we should do it again… no offense… I mean, don't get me wrong, It did feel kinda nice, but… I prefer to do it alone. You're not… mad are you?"

Kyle stared at the blond, surprised by all this. "No, I'm not… mad."

"Oh good!" The blonde replied relieved, "Well, I guess I'll see you later!"

"Wait, Butters, go that way."

"Oh, uh, alright."

The blonde boy then left down the hall that Kyle deemed was safest. Kyle briskly pulled out his phone. Maybe he could text some sense into Cartman.

Kyle carefully typed into his phone:

' _Calm down. I just talked to Butters. He hated what we did. He never wants to do it again. And I'm glad. The only person I want to touch is you.'_

Kyle waited nervously for a minute, until he got a message back.

' _Really?'_

' _Really.'_ Kyle texted back. He quickly got another massage.

' _Where are you, I want to see you'_

Kyle felt himself blushing at this for some reason

' _Lets meet at the front of the school?'_ Kyle texted.

' _Kay'_ was the heavier boys response.

The two boys met in the front of the school.

"I think we missed the bus." Cartman said

"Yeah, I guess we did." Kyle replied.

"I guess that means we have to walk home… Do you wanna walk together?"

"Yeah."

"Do you… wanna hold hands?" Cartman asked, timidly.

Kyle felt his heart flutter a bit at this. "...Yeah, that'd be nice." The redhead held out his hand for the larger boy to take, which he did. The two began walking home in the direction of their houses.

When they reached Kyles house, they stopped.

"Well, I guess I'll see you at Stan's house tomorrow?"

"Whaddya mean?" Kyle asked.

"The sleepover, remember?"

"Oh yeah… okay, yeah, I'll see you then."

Kyle let go of Cartman's hand, and walked up to his front door. After a final wave goodbye, Kyle went inside. He felt a mix of emotions inside at that moment, but couldn't deny that he felt very relieved that he was once again on good terms with Cartman.

That night, when Kyle curled up in his bed to sleep, he felt a little bit happy. *********

"Let's see, we've got snacks, the game console is all set up… I think that might be everything."

As Kenny unrolled his sleeping bag, he heard the door to Stan's bedroom open and the voice of their red headed friend.

"Hey guys."

"God dammit, not again…" Stan said, irritated.

"Mmmph mph?"

Stan pointed towards Kyle and Cartman who stood in his doorway, holding hands. "Those two are close again." He told the blonde, annoyed.

"Psh, whatever." Cartman said, brushing off Stans comment.

"Mmmph mmph mmmph mmph." Kenny added, with a slight chuckle.

"Ay! Shut up Kenneh!"

The four boys spent the evening playing video games, eating, and just having fun until dark. When it was time to go to bed, Kyle and Cartman waited until the other two boys were asleep to push their sleeping bags together so they could sleep closer. That night, with their small hands intertwined, the two boys fell asleep while smiling. ********


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman sat beside each other playing videogames on the couch in Eric's living room.

Eric was in pretty high spirits. Without Kenny playing, he actually had a shot at not getting killed off constantly.

"Hah! Take that!" The husky boy chimed.

"You're only winning because Kenny isn't here."

"Nuh-uh. I'm just _that_ good."

The brunette then paused the game, and turned to the redhead. "Hey, Kyle? You wanna… do that thing real quick?"

Kyle felt himself blush. "Oh, uh…" The jewish boy twiddled his fingers for just a moment. "...Yeah, ok, sure…"

The two boys hopped up from the couch, and walked over to Cartman's bathroom, locking themselves inside.

Kyle could feel himself get a little excited as he unbuttoned his pants.

"...Wanna both do each other at once?"

'Definitely' Kyle thought to himself, but wanting to sound less eager than he really was, replied, "Sure."

The two boys, after slicking their hands with body oil, positioned themselves in front of each other. Then, they both reached down and began stroking each other.

Kyle rested his head on Cartman's left shoulder. Cartman in turn, rested his head on Kyle's right shoulder. After doing this so many times with each other, the two had almost a pattern they followed.

As he began to feel better and better, Kyle began to pant. Cartman picked up his pace, and Kyle did as well. "Ah!..." Kyle moaned.

"Ah…. hah… that feels... so good, Kahl… ah!" Cartman said against Kyle's shoulder.

"Ah… ah!" Kyle moaned. "I'm… I'm close…"

Cartman sped up even more, sending the other boy to bliss. "Ah! ah...ah!" Kyle moaned, before feeling the familiar sensation of release.

With a final moan, Cartman came as well.

The two boys stayed taught against each other for a few moments panting, and catching their breath. Finally, the two pushed away from each other, but Kyle felt himself reach out and grab Cartman's sleeve.

Kyle felt himself blush, but didn't let go. The heavier boy noticed, and took a step closer to the boy, wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and delicately kissed the smaller boy.

Their kiss quickly became deeper and wetter, neither wanting it to end. Eventually, the boys parted, and they took turns washing their hands.

They returned to Cartman's couch, and unpaused their game and continued playing, only now were sitting much closer to each other, their arms brushing against each other when they played, and small smiles on their faces.

Just then, Stan entered Cartman's house via the unlocked front door, took one look at the pair, and with a huff, sat on the ground below them, arms crossed.

"Hey Stan." Kyle said.

Stan didn't reply, but merely huffed in annoyance again. Even though the two had been close like this for a couple months, Stan found himself no less annoyed by it.

At that moment, Stan knew he had to do try to separate them again. This time, for good. And with that thought, Stan stood up and left. If this was going to work, he would need a plan. And some help from his friend Kenny. *******

Kyle was humming softly to himself, in a fairly good mood. "Hey Bobou, where are you going?" Kyle's mother asked, as he opened the front door.

"Just to A friends house." He replied.

When the front door to Cartman's house swung open, Kyle was greeted with a fairly excited Cartman.

"Hey Cartman. Whats up?"

"Hey Kyle. Come in."

After Kyle stepped in, he was partially dragged up to Cartman's room. When they got there, Cartman finally said. "Guess what?"

Kyle shrugged. "What?"

"Well, I was just looking up random things on the internet when I read something interesting. You know that… special thing we do sometimes?"

Kyle felt himself blush, and rubbed his arm shyly. "Yeah."

"well, I read that there is a way to do it that feels way better then using your hand."

"Really? How?"

"It said that is a person uses their mouth instead it will feel way better."

"...How are you supposed to do it?"

"You just… well I was going to ask if you want to try it together?"

"I don't know…" Kyle replied, unsure. "I don't know if i'd be any good at it..."

"That's okay, I can try it on you first. So do you wanna try? My mom isn't home right now, so we can try it on my bed."

"No way. What if Stan or Kenny comes over? We should atleast go in your bathroom."

"Alright. C'mon then." The two boys walked over to Cartman's bathroom and closed the door behind them.

"I think it'd be easier if you sit down somewhere."

"Oh, ok…" Kyle sat down. He felt a little nervous.

"I think your gonna have to take your pants completely off so it's easier."

Kyle did so, only feeling slightly embarrassed since he hadn't done this before.

Cartman got down on his knees in front of Kyle. "You ready?"

"I think so… but don't you need lotion?"

"No, It said that you don't need it when you use your mouth."

"Okay… well, I'm ready…"

Cartman felt himself blush _**a lot,**_ and scooted closer. He wrapped his small fingers around the other boys sensitive organ, and finally dipped his head down until it was partially in his mouth.

Kyle gasped by the sudden warm and wet sensation.

Remembering reading how to do it, Cartman took it entirely in his mouth and began gently sucking on it whilst moving back and forth.

Kyle gasped again by how good it felt, and began moaning. He instinctively grabbed onto the back of Cartman's head.

"Ah.. ah!"

Cartman began moving faster, using his tongue to see if it helped make him feel better, which were responded with gasps and moans of pleasure.

"Ah! Ah… ah, Cartman, I'm-" Kyle said between moans.

Suddenly,Kyle felt the familiar feeling of release, and in a panic pulled his hands away. "S-sorry!"

Cartman got up, and spat something into the sink. "I-I'm really sorry," Kyle sputtered, "I didn't even realize-"

"Relax, Kyle, It's fine, I spat it out anyways."

Kyle sighed in relief before chuckling slightly. "Oh… good…"

"So how did it feel?" Cartman asked.

"I… I think it felt good…" Kyle replied, slightly flustered, as he put his pants back on.

"Wanna do it to me now?"

"Uh…" Kyle twiddled his fingers, "I don't know if I can..."

"It's okay, You don't have to If you don't want to." Cartman replied.

Kyle felt kind of guilty, but wasn't sure if he could go through with returning the favor. Atleast, not right now.

"Wanna play some video games?"

"Yeah, sure." Kyle replied.

As the two boys tapped away at buttons, Kyle felt less and less guilty, and was just happy to be spending time with the larger boy.*******

It was a simple plan, but Stan figured it would work. Kenny had agreed to help, too.

"Hey Kyle." Stan said cheerfully to his best friend when they met up at school.

"Hey Stan. What's up?"

"Well, actually, I have something to tell you…"

"What?"

"Well, It's something Cartman said about you when you weren't around…"

"Wow, Kyle really said that about me?" Cartman asked his friend Kenny.

"Mmm hmph." Kenny replied.

"Huh…"

Kyle met up with Cartman at lunchtime. He sat across from him.

"Hey Cartman."

"Hey Kyle."

"So, um… Stan told me you were talking badly about me."

"Kenny said the same thing to me about you."

"Huh. Well, I never did. Did you?"

"Of course not." Cartman replied.

"Weird… why would they lie to us?" Kyle asked, perplexed. Neither boys really understood why, so merely continued eating their lunch and enjoyed each others company.

Stan looked over at Cartman and Kyle. They were sitting together and… talking. They didn't seem mad at eachother at all!

"Drat" Stan cursed, "It appears my plan didn't work…"*******

Cartman and Kyle were playing videogames at Kyles house, and having a good time. Kyle's parents were home, but were busy doing their own thing.

Cartman suggested they go upstairs, and Kyle obliged.

When the two boys got upstairs, Cartman grabbed Kyle's hand. "Wanna try that new thing again?"

Kyle felt himself blush. To be completely honest, It had been all Kyle could think about these past few hours. When It first happened, It had seemed a bit weird and embarrassing, but now it was all he wanted. Not wanting to come off as enthusiastic as he really was, Kyle simply replied with, "Sure, okay…"

"Where do you wanna do it?"

"Let's go to my bedroom."

"Okay."

The two boys walked over to Kyle's room and Kyle made sure to lock the door so no one could barge in.

"Want me to do you first?"

Kyle nodded, and sat down on the his bed, and shimmied off his pants. He felt a familiar sense of embarrassment and maybe even shame, but felt better when Cartman sat in front of him, a small smile on his face. It felt as if what they were doing was normal, which brought much relief to Kyle.

After a brief moment of hesitation, Cartman leaned down and began sucking Kyle off.

It immediately felt amazing to Kyle, and he grabbed at Cartman's hair, encouraging him to take it deeper.

Kyle couldn't hold in his moans, and felt more amazing than he ever had before. "Ah!Ah… ah, Cartman… that feels… so…" Just a moment later, Kyle felt very close.

"Ah… I'm about to…" He moaned, before feeling the familiar feeling of release.

Cartman immediately got up. "S-sorry, again…" Kyle apologized

Cartman grimaced slightly and wiped his mouth. "It's fine," he replied, "It's really not that bad."

Kyle couldn't help but feel a little bit bad, but couldn't completely brush away the surge of pleasure he had just felt.

"...Do you want me to try it on you?" Kyle asked.

"Only if you're okay with it…" Cartman replied.

Kyle pulled his pants back on.

"It's okay, I can do it."

The two switched places, and Cartman, very _shyly_ , removed his pants. He was very curious how this would feel after watching Kyle's reaction twice, yet felt very embarrassed for some reason.

Kyle didn't waste any time scooching closer to Cartman until he was in range, and without hesitation, leaned down and began sucking him off.

Cartman gasped at the sudden alien feeling, but quickly began to moan in delight from the pleasure it brought.

Remembering what felt best to him, Kyle sped up and took it in as deeply as he could.

"Ah.. Ah!" Cartman moaned loudly, "Keep going… ah…"

Kyle sped up even more, and until Cartman was in a heavenly state, and very close to release.

"I… I'm gonna…" was all Cartman was able to say before feeling a very climactic release.

Very similarly to how Cartman had, Kyle immediately pulled back, and cringed from the unpleasant taste.

Cartman was worried Kyle was gonna freak out or get mad, but instead felt himself get pushed against the bed as Kyle jumped on top on him and began kissing him.

After a moment of surprise Cartman began kissing him back, Kyle pushing their bodies flush against each other.

Their mouths tasted a bit weird, but in a way, this made their kiss even better.

When they finally finished kissing, Kyle scooted down, and the two cuddled. It wasn't until they heard a knock at Kyle's door when his mother checked on him, that they were brought out of their daze and back into reality.

After a mutual awkwardness, the two went back downstairs and played videogames for a while longer. ********

"Okay Kenny, It's simple, I'm gonna slip this note into Kyle's locker, and you slip your note into Cartman's, okay?"

"Mmm mmph." Kenny replied.

"Alright., good. You sure you know which locker is Cartman's?"

"Mmmmph mmph mmph mmph mmmph."

"Okay, good. Glad to know that."

After their brief discussion, they two boys split to commit their evil deed.

When Kyle opened his locker later that morning, he noticed a small envelope that had not been their prior, and picked it up. After opening it, he read it. The letter was from Cartman, telling him that he didn't want to hang out together anymore. Kyle found this a bit odd and sudden. Why would Cartman write him a letter saying this instead of just saying it to him in person? Unless… It wasn't really from Cartman. Kyle studied the handwriting. It… looked like Cartman's handwriting, but it could have just been folded the letter back up. He'd just have to confront Cartman to find out the truth.

When Cartman found his letter, he quickly opened it and read it. Cartman frowned. This couldn't be real, could it? Was Kyle upset about oraling pleasing him yesterday? Had he felt forced to, and was now mad at him? But, Cartman had not pressured him at all, and they even cuddled afterward… and he had acted normally this morning…

Cartman crammed the letter to the back of his locker. He would just have to confront Kyle and find out. Cartman found himself frowning, hoping it was just a joke.

. Later that day, at the end of school, Kyle caught sight of Cartman down the hall. Cartman looked over back at him, and frowned. He had a pitiful sad face, like someone had just kicked him in the shin.

Could it be that Cartman had found a forged letter in his locker too?

Kyle couldn't help but chuckle slightly at this thought, as he looked at Cartman's pitiful expression.

Kyle walked over to Cartman, his small smile reassuring the heavier boy.

"Hey Cartman."

Cartman gave Kyle a look of surprise. "Hey Kyle…" There was a pause, "I got your note…"

Kyle chuckled, "Dude, that wasn't from me. I got one too, saying that you wanted space from _me_."

Cartman lifted an eyebrow at his friend. "Wait, you mean someone forged us both letters from each other?"

Kyle offered the heavier boy his hand, and with a smile said, "Yep."

Cartman took his hand in his own.

"What an asshole." Cartman replied, though he was smiling.

"But, Cartman… maybe we should spend some time apart."

Cartman frowned. "Whaddya mean?"

"Well, whoever wrote us these fake notes pry wants us apart pretty badly. Maybe we should act a little less close at school, just for a few days."

Cartman was thoughtful for a moment. "Okay." He replied.

The two boys walked over to the bus together, but decided to sit apart.

"Dude, Kyle. Over here." Stan patted the seat beside him.

Kyle sat down beside his best friend. "Hey Stan."

The bus began to move, and Stan noticed that Cartman was sitting very far away, no where near Kyle. Good. Maybe his plan had worked.******

It was Friday, and Cartman was in a pretty low mood. Avoiding Kyle all day wasn't as easy as it sounded. It was no fun at all. He kept having to stop himself from walking up to him.

Cartman walked outside of the back entrance of the school, which he did sometimes to pout.

Cartman didn't hear the sound of the double doors open behind him, but he did feel when two arms wrapped around him from behind.

"Hey." Kyle said.

Cartman felt a little confused. "I thought we weren't supposed to hang together at school."

"I don't see anyone around, do you?"

Cartman smiled. "I guess not." Cartman placed his hands over Kyles. He felt a bit silly just standing there being hugged, but didn't want to move away either.

After a moment, Kyle asked "Wanna come over to my house?"

Cartman wasn't sure why, but he felt himself blushing a little. "Sure, that sounds cool."

After hearing the sound of the bus driving off, the two walked over to Kyle's house.

When opened the front door to let her son in, she paused for a moment. Next to her son was Eric.

"Well, aren't you two cute, holding hands."

The two boys stepped in. "Y'know Kyle, I'm really happy to see you and Eric getting along so well lately."

"Yeah, Whatever." Kyle replied, as the two ascended the stairs towards Kyle's room.

The two set down their backpacks on the floor. "So what do you want to do?" Kyle asked.

To Kyle's surprise, Cartman was quite, his face slightly pink. Cartman grabbed Kyle's hands. "Sorry Kyle, It's just I had to avoid you all day…"

Kyle felt himself blush, unsure how to react.

"Wait one second." Kyle walked over to his door, closing it. He then walked back over to the heavier boy.

"Hey Cartman, I'm kind of tired… do you want to lay down on my bed with me and cuddle?"

Cartman smiled. "I'd like that, Kyle."

They both slid off their heavy coats, wearing just t-shirts. Kyle climbed onto his bed, and Cartman followed suite. The two got comfortable together, their small limbs intertwined as they embraced each other, small smiles on their faces. ******

Twenty minutes later, the two were practically asleep, when the sound of Butters slamming Kyle's door open woke them up.

"Hey Fellas!"

Butters approached the two, who both sat up.

"Dude, what the hell Butters?" Cartman asked, upset over being woken up. Kyle rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

"Huh, were you two asleep?"

"Well, we _were_ , until you woke us up." Kyle answered.

"aw gee, I'm sorry."

Butters eyed the two curiously. "I-I looked everywhere for you Eric."

"What for?"

"We have an assignment together, remember?"

Cartman remembered. Earlier that day, had 'surprised' the entire class last minute with an elaborate two person project. Cartman had tried to ask Kyle if he wanted to be partners, but Stan had swooped in and asked Kyle first. And somehow, he ended up being partners with Butters.

"How could I forget?" Cartman replied, sarcastically.

"W-well, don't ya think we should get started on it?"

"Can't we start on it over the weekend?"

"I-I don't know, It's gonna take a pretty long time to finish, and it's due monday. I think we should start on it now."

With a sigh, Cartman reluctantly agreed. "Alright, fine, I guess it wouldn't hurt to finish it early."

Cartman began scooching of Kyle's bed, when he felt Kyle grab onto his sleeve. Cartman looked back at Kyle and got the message.

"Alright Butters, I'll help you, but wait outside of Kyle's house for me, alright? I'll be right there."

"Gotcha!" Butters replied, before turning and leaving out the door, his footsteps echoing.

Cartman turned back to Kyle, and leaned down to give him a gentle goodbye kiss. They were so used to it, neither thought of it as odd, and after an exchange of two casual goodbyes, Cartman was gone.

Cartman met Butters outside as promised.

"There ya are Eric! Alright let's get started!"

Cartman rolled his eyes. "I can't wait."********

That weekend, neither boys got a chance to spend any time together, busied with their projects. On monday, that both got passing marks for their projects, but continued their charade of keeping apart.

When it was the end of school, Stan noticed that neither Cartman and Kyle were on the bus. Worried, he turned to his friend Kenny.

"Kenny, Do you see Cartman and Kyle anywhere?"

"Mph emph."

"Do you think that might be fighting?"

"Mmph! Mph mph mmmph!"

"Oh god, what if they're fighting because of what we did?"

"Mmph…"

Stan was thoughtful for a moment. "Kenny, maybe we should tell them what we did. I mean, I actually feel kind of bad for ruining their friendship. As annoying as it was, It was nice that they were getting along so well."

After a minute of thought, Kenny nodded his head in agreement.

The knew what they had to do tomorrow.*********

The next day, Kenny sought out Cartman, and Stan sought out Kyle.

"Mmmph mph… mph mph mph."

Cartman stared at Kenny, slightly surprised. "You wrote that note Kenneh?"

"Mmph."

"Che, whateva." Cartman shot back, casually, "I could totally tell it was forged anyway."

Kenny rolled his eye's, not entirely believing the heavy boy.

"Look Kyle, I'm really sorry. Me and Kenny shouldn't have done it, so we're both really sorry."

Kyle was a bit surprised by Stan's confession. He sighed, and looked at his friend. "You're right Stan, you shouldn't have done that."

Stan frowned, a worried look on his face. "...But since you apologized, I forgive you."

"Thanks, Kyle."

Kyle closed his locker and was about to leave, but Stan stopped him.

"Kyle wait."

"What is it?"

"I want you and Cartman to make up. You guys have been fighting, right? Since It's my fault you were fighting, I want to see that you guys are no longer mad at eachother."

Kyle stared at his friend in a daze. "Fighting?"

"Yeah, Isn't that what you did after school yesterday? Neither of you were on the bus."

Kyle felt very surprised. Stan thought Cartman and him were fighting?

"Please Kyle, I feel awful. Can't you two just make up now?"

Kyle spotted Cartman from across the hall. maybe he could show Stan that the two of them _really_ weren't fighting.

"Alright Stan, if it'll make you feel better."

"Cartman!" Kyle called from across the hall. Cartman looked over at his redheaded friend curiously.

Kyle extended his arms as dramatically as possible.

For a moment, nothing happened, but then Cartman walked up to the smaller boy, and returned the hug.

Stan smiled at the two, feeling reassured, glad they had made up.******

Later that day, the two sat together on the bus ride home.

Kyle was looking out the window before turning to the brunette. "You wanna come to my house again today?"

"Yeah, that'd be cool."

"I'm really tired again today… do you wanna take a nap with me?"

Cartman could feel himself blush a little bit. "Sure okay."

The two jumped at the sound of another person's voice from above them. "Heya fellas!"

Slightly freaked out, the two looked up to see Butters curved over the back of their seat, smiling.

"What the hell Butters?" Cartman said angrily, "You scared the shit out of me! How long have you been here?"

"A- a while now.."

"Were you listening to our conversation?"

"Well… yeah, kind of… Oh but hey, If you two are are taking a nap again, can I join in?"

The two gave him a look like he was crazy, and Kyle answered, "No. You can't. Never ask that again. ever."

"Oh…" The blonde sunk back down into his seat.

True to their word, when the two got to Kyle's house, they cuddled up on his bed, small limbs intertwined, and small smiles on their face.********


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

It was the weekend, and Kyle was lying on Cartman's bed, playing on his ipad. He thought back to the conversation they had yesterday.

The two, along with all their friends, were now a month into fifth grade. As such, this meant that they were a little older.

Basically what happened was that after an unpleasant experience, the two had come to the agreement to not be as publically affectionate. They just weren't young and cute enough anymore to get away with it anymore.

The reason why Kyle was alone in Cartman's bedroom was because Cartman had left to go buy something. Kyle hopped off the bed, and grabbed his coat. He figured he may as well leave.

When he got downstairs, bid him farewell with a smile, and he left out the front door. When he got home, after a small dinner, he went to bed. He hadn't felt very good that day, and just wanted some rest.*********

Monday morning came as a relief to Kyle Broflovski. He wanted to be once again surrounded by people to get his mind off of his own thoughts. After a quick breakfast, a shower, brushing his teeth, and getting dressed, he headed off to school.

It was a pretty average day, but by lunchtime, an unpleasant thought snagged at his mind. A conversation at the lunch table stole his attention away from his thoughts. His friends were discussing the mock dance (if you could even call it that) that took place a week ago. It was basically just an hour and a half of his fifth grade class huddled in the gym, girls on one end, boys on the other, with a twenty foot gap in between.

Kyle thought back to that dance. If he remembered correctly, he had actually had a pretty fun time.

Stan periodically glanced over to the girls side of the gym. "Dude, do you think Wendy will ask me to dance with her?"

Kyle shrugged. "I don't know. Probably." Kyle glanced around the gym. "Where the hell are the adults?"

"Beats me." Stan replies.

Kyle felt someone pulling on his arm, and turned around to see Cartman. "Hey Kyle, come with me."

"Why?"

"I have to show you something," Cartman said, with a wide grin on his face.

"Okay. Later Stan."

"Later."

Cartman grabbed Kyle's hand, and began leading him towards the doors that led out into the hallway. After they passed thru, Kyle asked, "Aren't we supposed to stay in the gym? What if we get caught?"

"Trust me, I wouldn't worry about that." Cartman replied confidently.

The two stopped in front of a door.

"Hey Kyle, did it seem weird to you that there were no teachers in the gym with us?"

Kyle said, "Yeah, that seemed strange."

Cartman turned the door handle. "Well, this is why."

The two stepped inside, and Kyle gasped. Inside the room, were teachers, including their fourth grade teacher , , and even Principal victoria. But that wasn't the surprising part.

The whole room was smokey, and some of them held what looked like smoking twisted paper in their hands. They also had goofy grins on their faces.

Cartman chuckled. "See? Isn't this hilarious?"

Kyle approached who was sitting on a table. " ?"

"Oh, hey Kyle. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for all of you. I think."

offered Kyle the smoking paper in his hand. "Hey, you wanna a drag of this?"

"Uh, no thanks." Kyle replied. "I'm, uh, gonna go find my friend."

Kyle walked back to Cartman who was taking pictures of everyone with his phone. "C'mon Cartman lets leave. It's kinda hard to breathe in here."

"Alright, just one last picture."

"Hey, get that flashy thing away…" Principal Victoria said, sluggishly waving her arm.

The two boys left the room, and Kyle coughed, trying to get the smoke out of his lungs.

"Haha, did you see that? They were all stoned!"

"I know dude! But let's head back now."

"Or" Cartman said, "We could keep sneaking around."

"Where do you wanna go?" Kyle asks.

"Our classroom. Theres something Ive always wanted to do."

When the two got there, Cartman proceeded to draw any and every inappropriate thing he could think of on the chalkboard, laughing his ass off the entire time. Kyle did his best to suppress a grin as he watched.

"Haha! I can't believe everything right now! Today didn't suck as much as I thought it would."

The two boys were once again in the halls walking towards the gym. "Yeah, well now we can finally head back to the gym-"

Cartman grabbed Kyle's arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Kyle, wait."

"What?"

"How about instead of going back just yet, we do our… special thing first."

"Oh…" It had been a couple of days since the last time the two had done anything, and Kyle realized that he really did want to do it again. "Okay, but really fast."

The two boys made a detour to the boys bathroom, and locked themselves in the large handicap stall.

Cartman excitedly undid his belt, unbuttoned his trousers, and pulled them down the few inches necessary, and Kyle did the same. Even though they had been engaging in this activity for months now, Kyle was surprised that it never stopped being alluring.

"Let's do each other at the same time." Cartman suggested.

Kyle agreed. "Ok."

Cartman reached down and Kyle did the same, and the two began slowly stroking each other.

"Shhccc…" Kyle took in a breath sharply as the familiar feeling wracked his body. Almost like easing into a hot bath, the sensation made him feel warm and dizzy.

They both began moving their hands faster, and were both beginning to feel really good. Cartman was the first to begin moaning, but Kyle was quick to follow him.

"Ah.. I'm really… close… ah…"

"Ah! Me too…"

It wasn't long until Kyle felt a familiar feeling of release, quickly followed by Cartman.

The two caught their breath, leaning against each other for support. "Let's wash our hands." Cartman said.

After washing their hands, Kyle wiped his hands dry with some paper towel before tossing it in the trash.

He felt a light tap on his shoulder and turned around. Cartman pulled him into a tight hug, and Kyle, who had no objections, hugged back.

After a moment, Cartman pulled back just a little, and lightly kissed Kyle on the side of his mouth.

This made Kyle's skin tingle.

Cartman stepped back, and pulled the rose out of the front pocket of his tux, and slid it into the front pocket of Kyle's suit.

"Here, you can have that."

When the two walked back into the gym, they were walking very close, and blushing and smiling at eachother. They were only brought back into reality by the sound of Stan's voice.

"Dude! Guys, where have you been? We have to go! My mom's waiting for us!"

The two noticed the gym was partially empty, and followed Stan and Kenny out the door that led outside, to Stan's mom's car, and all four got inside.

Stan, who was sat in the front seat, turned around. "Where the hell were you two?"

"Uh… we were walking around… were we really gone that long?"

"Yeah, dude! You missed like, the entire dance!"

"You have fun, Stanley?" asked.

"I guess."

"Boys?"

"Mmmph mmph mph."

"It was totally lame."

"You weren't even there most of the time, Cartman."

"It was still lame."

As everything sunk in, Kyle absentmindedly noticed that Cartman was holding his hand.

Kenny, who was sitting on the far left, noticed this and chuckled. "Mmmmph mmph."

"Shut up, Kenneh." Cartman said.

"Mmmph, mmph mmmph!"

"I said shut up!"

parked her car on the side of the road. "Is it alright if I let you three boys all out here?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the ride ." The three got out of the car, and the car drove away.

His two friends waved goodbye, and Kyle went inside his house, and went to bed.

...Yeah, he had a pretty good time.

"Hey, you gonna eat that?" Clyde pointed to the uneaten jello on Kyle's tray.

"Uh, no you can have it."

"Thanks."

Kyle suddenly realized something. He needed to talk to Cartman. And soon.******

After school, Kyle found Cartman, and snagged his arm.

"Hey Cartman? I need to talk to you about something. Do you mind if we walk?"

"Okay."

The two boys began walking home together. There was only silence between them at first as Kyle rehearsed what he was about to say in his head. It had been bothering him for a while now, and felt half relieved he was finally going to say it out loud, and half worried about what Cartman's reaction would be.

When Kyle was ready, he stopped Cartman, and lead him into a small clearing to ensure that no one overheard them.

Kyle rubbed his arm. "Cartman, you know how things have changed between us ever since… we started doing _that_ together?"

Cartman looked a bit nervous. "Yeah, what about it?"

Kyle rang his fists together the same way Butters did sometimes, and looked down at the snow.

Kyle took a deep breathe. "Well, I don't want it to just… stop suddenly. And I don't mean just because it feels good. I really feel like we have a special relationship now, and I don't want things to go back to how they were before."

Cartman was silent for moment, but then began to chuckle softly.

Kyle felt his cheeks go red. Did he just say something stupid?

"Kyle, I really wouldn't worry about that." Cartman blushed a little bit as well. "I feel the same way."

"Really?"

"Yeah. As much as fun as it is to make fun of you for being a jew, I like the way things are now much better."

Kyle felt relief wash over him, and felt silly for worrying.

Kyle chuckled, feeling giddy, and beckoned Cartman to come closer to him. "C'mere."

Cartman stepped up to Kyle, and wrapped his arms around him in a hug.

Kyle hugged back, and felt very warm and happy in that moment.

"One other thing." Kyle added.

"What?"

"I want to tell Stan."

"What?" Cartman pulled away a little to meet Kyle's eye. "Whaddya mean?"

"I want to tell him about us."

"You're gonna tell him… what we do together?"

"No, no," Kyle said, a small blush on his face, "I just want to try to him that were… closer than just friends."

"...Do you wanna tell everyone?"

"No, I think it's best if we still keep it to ourselves. But Stan's my best friend, and I think he should know. I think he wonders why we spend so much time together, and this way I think he would understand better."

"What about Kenneh?"

"Nah, he doesn't need to know. Just Stan."

"Sounds fine with me." Cartman held out his hand, "Now let's walk home together. I'll even give you the honour of holding my hand."

Kyle blushed a little. "But, what about our rule?"

Cartman chuckled. "Rules are made to broken, Broflovski."*********

Once Kyle and Cartman (but more specifically Kyle) worked up the nerve to talk to Stan, the two sought him out together.

"Hey, Stan?"

"Hey guys. Whats up?"

Stan mashed the buttons on his controller as he destroyed virtual demons and monsters.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"It's about me and Cartman." Kyle and Cartman glanced at eachother before Kyle added, "We… for a while now, we've been more than just friends. We hug and kiss and stuff. That's why we spend so much time together. I just thought you should know."

Stan paused his game, and turned around to look at his two friends. "What?" Stan gawked at the two, noticing their joined hands, something he had gotten so used to he usually didn't even notice, now all too obvious and even seemingly a bit off. "You're joking right?

"No, we're not, But, don't tell anyone. We're keeping it a secret. I just wanted you to know since you're my best friend."

"Yeah, and don't tell Kenny either"

Stan gave the two a look of disbelief. "How long has this been going on?"

"Eight months."

"Eight months?"

Kyle rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. "Sorry it took so long for me to tell you. I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow. C'mon fatass."

The two began leaving Stan's room, "Ay! I'm big boned!"

Stan stared at his empty doorframe after they left.

"What?"*********

The next day, At the bus stop, everything seemed normal enough, Stan giving the two a glance now and then, but other then that, everything was normal enough. Kyle's day continued to go as normal until lunch. He had been eating his lunch and listening intently to his classmates discussing the scores of different sports teams, something he took an interest in, when he happened to glance at Cartman, who was sitting across from him. Happy that he had gotten his attention, Cartman grinned at him. Kyle smiled back. Cartman then made the same kind of gesture that one would make when they want someone to follow them, and mouthed the word 'bathroom' before standing up and leaving the table. The others were to wrapped up in their conversation to notice Cartman at all. Kyle waited just a moment, before scooting of his seat himself, and following the brunettes path.

As soon as Kyle entered the bathroom, someone immediately grabbed him by the arm, and slammed him against the wall. What was happening? Was he about to get beat up? Mugged?

His question was soon answered when he felt a familiar pair of lips against his, followed by Cartman forcing his tongue into his mouth. The two kissed for a moment, before pulling apart to catch their breaths, and finally meet eyes.

"Hey."

"Hey…"

Kyle wiped some saliva away from his mouth with his sleeve. "What the hell, Cartman?" Kyle asked, though he was secretly very pleased by what had just transpired. "You brought me all the way here just to do that?"

Cartman swayed back on his heels, and in a sweet voice, said "noooo…."

Kyle lifted an eyebrow. "Then what?"

The two heard shuffling outside the door, and Cartman grabbed Kyle's wrist, and dragged him into the middle stall, locking it.

Cartman pulled the toilet seat down, and sat down. He then patted his lap. "Come here. Sit on my lap."

Kyle crossed his arms. "I'm not sitting on your lap."

"C'mon…" Cartman pleaded.

Kyle sighed and rolled his eyes, but walked over to him, and plopped down onto his lap.

Cartman smiled, and wrapped his arms around him, before beginning to unbutton his pants. Kyle tensed up, feeling slightly self conscious.

Cartman began slowly stroking him, and Kyle welcomed the familiar feeling. After not long, Kyle had began moaning slightly.

The two froze when they heard the sound of the bathroom door opening, and three pairs of feet, along with the same banter of conversation Kyle recognized was from their table. He recognized Clyde and Craigs voice as they continued their discussion.

To Kyle's horror, Cartman began stroking him again. Kyle put his hand over his mouth to muffle the moans he couldn't hold back.

'What the hell, Cartman?' Kyle thought to himself.

It wasn't long until (To Kyle's great relief,) the two heard the sound of the group of boys leaving, followed by the door shutting.

Kyle pulled his hand away, and moaned loudly as he felt closer, until feeling the familiar feeling of release.

"Sorry…" Kyle whispered. He then elbowed Cartman in the arm. "What the hell, Cartman? I can't believe you didn't stop!"

"Haha! I can't believe they didn't hear you!" Cartman jeered, and then to his defense added, "It would have sucked for you, if I had stopped."

"Whatever." Kyle said, and stood up, buttoning his pants. "You want me to do you now?"

Cartman stood up to. "You don't have to. C'mon let's go back to eating, I'm hungry still."

The two left the stall, and returned to the cafeteria.*********

It was Wednesday, but school had been cancelled, so Kenny walked down the sidewalk, daydreaming. He eventually came across his friend Stan, who was sat at the curb, his head propped up by his hands. He was frowning, and looked like he was thinking about something.

"Mmmph mmph?"

"Hey Kenny."

The orange clad boy sat down next him.

"Hey Kenny?"

"Mmmph?"

"Have you… noticed anything strange about Kyle and Cartman recently?"

Kenny thought about it, but decided not really. They were just as close as they had been. Kenny pulled his hood down to respond. "Not really."

"Oh."*********

Meanwhile…

Kyle was taking advantage of his day off to catch up on homework. He was at his desk writing, when he glanced at his phone. He decided to text Cartman.

' _Whats up?'_

A moment later, Kyle's phone began to ring. Cartman was calling him.

He answered, "Hello?"

"Kahl, come over."

"I can't. I'm doing homework."

"Just do it later! I'm bored as fuck."

Kyle sighed, and rolled his eyes. "Alright fine."

Kyle put on his trademark orange coat, and went downstairs. "Mom! I'm going to Cartman's house!" He called.

"Have fun Bobou!"

Kyle walked over to Cartman's house, and was greeted at the door by Cartman, who dragged him upstairs. The two played video games, skimmed the internet for anything new, and did countless other things until…

"...I'm bored again." Cartman moaned, slumped on the ground.

Kyle, who was on his bed, sat up. "Me too."

stepped into the room. "I made you boys hot cocoa."

Cartman stood up, and grabbed one of the mugs. "Sweet."

"Thanks." Kyle said, taking his.

After warning the boys it was hot, left. Cartman stirred his hot cocoa, and then grinned.

"I know what we could do."

"What?"

Cartman set his mug down, and approached Kyle. "I could make you feel good."

"No way! Your mom could walk in on us! That's sick dude!"

Cartman rolled his eyes. "I'll lock the door, dumbass."

Cartman locked his door. "See?"

"Well…" Kyle toyed with his mug, before setting it down on the nightstand. "Alright."

Cartman smiled, and crawled onto his bed, and began undoing Kyle's pants.

"Wait, are you gonna use your mouth?"

"Yeah, so sit still."

Kyle's face turned pink from embarrassment as Cartman began to service him.

"Hah…" Kyle moaned after a little bit.

Cartman began moving faster, and Kyle had to put his hand over his own mouth to muffle all the sounds he was making. He had the sensation that he was melting, as the pleasure wracked his body.

"I'm… ah!.. Close…" He said, before feeling a familiar feeling of release. Cartman pulled back, and Kyle saw that he was blushing as well.

"Uh… s-sorry." Kyle said.

Cartman tried to play back his grimace, "...It's fine…"

Kyle pulled up his pants, and then asked, "Do you want me to do you now?"

"...You don't have to."

Kyle could have left it at that. He could have just said 'fine.' But he didn't. He was sick of Cartman always doing it for him, but not asking him to do it back. He felt guilty enough harbouring this secret from their friends and families. At least let him return the favour.

"It's fine, I want to."

"You really don't have to…"

"I said wanted to, damn it! Now come over here and sit down."

Tentatively, Cartman crawled over, and sat down, and Kyle, though he was embarrassed and his hands were shaking slightly, moved to unbutton Cartman's pants.

Kyle dipped his head down, and Cartman gasped at the first contact.

"Nnngh…"

Kyle started off slowly,but gradually sped up a bit. Cartman shamelessly moaned as he felt closer and closer until...

"Ah! Im.. gonna… hah…"

Kyle pulled away as quickly as possible, and did his best to cope with the unpleasant taste.

"Hah... sorry..."

Kyle wondered for less then a second if he could, before crawling forward, and attacking Cartman with a kiss.

Cartman immediately kissed back, and they began french kissing.

Kyle pressed his knee in between Cartman's legs, eliciting a small whimper from him, before grabbing the back of Cartman's head to deepen the kiss.

Eventually, when the the two separated, the two were to busy catching their breaths to truly indulge in how embarrassed they were.

Once his body once again had the oxygen it needed, Cartman scooted off the bed, and got his hot chocolate, which was finally cool enough to drink.

"Ugh, this tastes horrible."

Curious, Kyle took a sip of his. It tasted fine to him.

"I know what will make this better!" Cartman said, and took Kyle's mug, and unlocked his door, and went downstairs.

Kyle took this time to straighten himself up, until Cartman returned, and handed Kyle back his mug. There was now an abundance of mini marshmallows on top, topped with whipped cream.

"There, that's much better." Cartman said.

Kyle took a sip. It did taste pretty good. A lot sweeter than before.

"So what do you wan-"

"Heya, fellas!" Butters burst in energetically.

"What the fuck, Butters? Didn't I lock my door…? Fuck, I unlocked it to get marshmallows…"

"Ooh, Is that hot chocolate-?"

Cartman swatted his hand away. "Get your own."

"Oh, uh, right." Butters looked between the two. "S-so what are you two up to?"

"Butters, if you have nothing interesting to say, then you better leave."

"Uh- uh…" Butters rubbed his knuckles together nervously. "Did you guys know that 10 percent of people are left handed?" Butters chuckled nervously.

Kyle set his hot chocolate back down, and sat on the edge of the bed and crossed his arms. Kyle realized that the blonde was covered in clumps of snow, and even looked a bit tossed up.

"Butters, what's the real reason you're here?" Kyle asked.

"Uh-uh, no reason…"

Shouting could be heard outside. "Oh hamburgers!"

Butters took one more glance at the two before saying, "Gee, I really wish I had some hot cocoa." And running out of the room.

Cartman shut and locked his door again, mumbling something incoherent, before glancing out his window to see Butters getting pelted with snow balls by the other kids.

Cartman chuckled, before turning around to look at Kyle.

"Hey Kyle?"

"What?"

"Close your eyes."

"...Why?" Kyle could feel his heartbeat quicken.

"Just do it."

After weighing his options, Kyle closed his eyes and waited. At first nothing happened, but then he felt a hand under his chin, lifting his chin ever so slightly. He felt his heart begin to beat even faster, a nervous chill run down his spine. He then felt a pair of lips press ever so lightly against his.

"Hah.." He gasped, and Cartman began to kiss him properly, placing his hand on the back of his neck. He tasted like chocolate and marshmallows. "Mmm…" he moaned as Cartman deepened the kiss. When Cartman pulled away, Kyle opened his eyes and muttered, "Cartman…" He then saw something from the corner of his eye. His mug was now empty.

"God dammit Cartman!"

Cartman chuckled maniacally.*********

Thursday morning, all four boys were, per usual, lined up at the bus stop. Well, except for Stan, who was once again sat at the curb in his famous thinking pose.

When the bus arrived, all four got on.

Kyle and Cartman were sat together, and as Kyle looked out the window, Cartman checked to see if anyone was looking at them, before curling his fingers around Kyle's hand.*******


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

Kyle blinked his eye's open. Huh? This wasn't his room. In fact, he didn't recognize anything in the room. Confused and disoriented, Kyle sat up.

"Where the hell am I?"

Kyle realized that there was someone in the room with him.

"Kyle, It's me."

"Cartman? Where am I?"

"You're dreaming."

"I am?" Kyle noticed that Cartman wasn't wearing his usual clothes. He was wearing orange coveralls, and had a clear helmet over his head. He was holding a second helmet under his arm.

Kyle noticed that he to was wearing the same orange coveralls. He hopped out of the bed.

Cartman handed him the space helmet he was holding. "Here, put this on."

As soon as he did, Cartman grabbed his hand, and began leading him out of the room, through a strange oval shaped doorway with automatic doors, and into a hallway.

"Cartman, where are we going?"

"Just follow me."

After stepping through one more doorway, Kyle gasped.

A futuristic metropolis stood before them.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Cartman said.

"What is this place...?"

Cartman tugged at Kyle, "C'mon I'll show you around."

In a speechless state, Kyle silently followed Cartman around, taking it all in.

"...And this is a coffee shop, I think." Cartman pointed to a symbol of a human printed on the glass. "This means that you can take your helmet off inside the building because there's oxygen."

The two kept walking. "That's the park." Cartman pointed at the large square of green, adorned with a couple of benches.

As they walked, They saw more and more colorful and diverse aliens going about their daily lives.

Some were orange, and had many eyes, others were pink with tentacles for arms, and so on.

"You don't need to worry they're all friendly." Cartman assured.

"How do you know so much about this place?"

"Because, I woke up hours ago, and already explored the city. Which reminds me…" Cartman pointed in a seemingly random direction. "Don't leave the city limits. Were basically inside a gigantic glass bubble."

"What's outside the city limits?"

"A barren wasteland. There's giant rocks and shit. So just stay in here."

Kyle felt his stomach grumble. "I think I'm hungry. Can we go somewhere for food here?"

"Sure, Let's go."

Kyle felt himself walk into someone. "Oh sorry."

The figure looked up. "Kyle! Eric!"

"Oh great." Cartman said.

"Butters? You're here to?"

"Yeah! Are entire class is here. I think we might be on a field trip." Butters rubbed his knuckles together nervously, "B-but I don't remember ever getting a field trip form! If my parents find out I went on a field trip without their permission they'll be awfully sore… I hope I don't get grounded."

"Our entire class is here?"

"Uh, yeah, I forgot to tell you."

"So where are you guys heading?"

"To get some food."

"Can I come?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Just don't act don't act like a total fag."

"Oh boy! I'm gonna get a strawberry milkshake!"

The three took off their helmets as they stepped inside, and ordered their food. "Yeah, I'll have a tray of wings , and a large space fries, with ketchup, aaaand... Let's see… two double burgers aaaand… a sundae. Oh and a diet coke."

"Is pepsi okay?"

"Did I say pepsi? No!"

"Um.. What about mountain dew?"

"Do you have double dew?"

"I think so…"

"Yeah, I'll have a diet one of those."

"Cartman you do realize you're an idiot, right?"

"I'll have one strawberry milkshake, please!"

"Uh, Cartman? How the hell are we gonna pay for this?"

"Didn't you read the sign? Humans eat free."

"Hey Kid, what do you want?"

"Oh, uh… I'll just have…" Kyle scanned the menu, "...A chicken sandwich, and a medium side of fries. And pepsi's fine."

"What size?"

"Large."

"Alrighty then. Your food will be brought to you, so go ahead and sit down."

The three sat down in a booth. "Why the hell is a human working here?"

"There's a few humans in this city."

"But… why?"

Cartman shrugged. "Beats me."

The three got their food, and began eating.

Halfway thru their meal, Kyle asked. "What time is it?"

Cartman glanced at his wrist. "3:30. Why?"

"Wow! But I've only been awake for a few hours!"

"Yeah, cuz it was like already noon when you finally woke up."

"Well, that means we only have another hour."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Curfews five o'clock. And yeah, Its fucking lame."

"We have a curfew?" Butters asked.

"Yeah. It's lame as hell, but It's not like we can't just sneak off later. And If this place is this cool during the day, Then I bet it's totally epic at night."

"Don't say 'epic.'" Kyle scolded, "That words annoying."

"What do you guys want to do?"

"We could just walk around. I still have more places to show Kyle."

"Sounds fine with me."

After the three finished eating, they put their helmets back on, and began walking around.

"Kyle, c'mere."

Kyle stepped up to the brunette, who grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers. "But what about Butters?"

"Doesn't matter, you're dreaming, remember?"

"I thought this was a field trip!"

"Shut up Butters. And stop skipping, It's gay."

"Oh." The poor blonde slumped a bit, and walked normally.

After a bit more of a tour from Cartman, the three walked back to building they allegedly had a curfew at.

When they stepped inside, they were greeted by the familiar faces of the rest of their fifth grade class, along with a man in a tan uniform. Everyone was wearing identical orange coveralls.

"Boys. Just in time. Now get in line, It's alphabetical."

The three did just that, and after a quick scribble on his clipboard, he dismissed everyone for dinner.

"Cafeterias connected to this room, just go all the way down, and thru the red doors."

The cafeteria was immediately a buzz with conversation, as people got in line, and filled their trays with intergalactic cuisine.

"Dude, Kyle!"

"Stan! Kenny!"

"Sup man!"

"Mph mph!"

All five got a table together.

"Dude, do you know what's going on?" Kyle asked his super best friend.

"No idea." Stan replied honestly. "We all just woke up here."

"Huh."

"Can you pass the salt?"

"Mmmph."

After dinner, everyone dispersed, some going back to their private rooms. The group of five all ended up in Butters room. Not that it made a difference, as all the rooms were identical.

They talked a bit, before both Kenny and Stan said they were ready to go to sleep.

"Dude, It's only 8pm, you sure you want go to bed?"

"Yeah,something about mysteriously waking up on another planet has made me kinda tired." Stan admitted.

"Me too." Kenny added.

"Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Night."

The two left the room. "Hey, what do you two wanna do now?" Butters asked.

Cartman slid his helmet back on. "Were ditchin'"

"We are?"

"Oh gee, I don't know, I don't wanna get in trouble…"

"Fine then stay here." Cartman tossed a helmet to Kyle, who caught it. "Kyle, you in?"

Kyle slid his helmet on. "I.. I guess. I'm not tired yet, so… I'll come."

"Good."

The two left the building thru the main entrance.

"I feel kinda bad leaving Butters."

"Don't, he's the one to chicken to come with us. Besides, he's pry asleep by now."

Kyle looked up at the now dark sky. Three moons were visible.

"So where are we going?"

"Downtown. There's tons of cool places there."

To paraphrase the boys night, they did some window shopping, followed by getting more food, and then going to an arcade. A space arcade, that is.

After watching Cartman lose at a game eerily similar to dance revolution for the eighth time in a row, Kyle cracked a yawn. He was beginning to feel tired.

"C'mon Cartman, Let's go."

"It's not fair! He has more legs than I do!"

" _Actually, there tentacles-"_

"If you know that, then just admit defeat already. C'mon, I'm tired, let's just go back now."

"Fine" Cartman huffed, "But this isn't over six eyes."

" _Actually, I have seven eyes-"_

"Don't change the subject!"

When the two boys returned to Kyle's room, they took off their helmets.

"Do we get a change of clothing at night?"

Cartman tapped at a specific drawer in the wall. "All of your clothes are in here. Dirty clothes go into that shoot."

Cartman threw a pair of light blue coveralls at the red head. "Here, these are for sleep."

"Thanks."

Kyle quickly changed, and tossed his orange coveralls into the shoot, which sucked them threw like a vacuum. "Wow, that's creepy dude."

Kyle hopped up onto his bed. "Well, goodnight."

"Wait, Kyle?"

"What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Kyle thought for a moment. "No. Why?"

Cartman grinned. "Our special activity?"

"Oh.. . you wanna do that now?"

"Don't you?"

Kyle thought about it. He was on another planet, had no idea how he even got here, and this was all pry a dream anyways. So why the hell not? "Ok." Kyle jumped off his bed and walked over to the brunette.

"Sweet."

After unzipping each others coveralls, They began softly stroking each other, resting their head on the each other's shoulder.

"Hah…."

Kyle tried to keep his voice down so others wouldn't hear, but had a feeling that was going to be easier said than done.

"Ah...ah… hah…" Kyle could feel his face flush as he slowly was beginning to feel like he was on cloud nine.

At this point, both boys were having a difficult time holding back their moans and were barely able to give the other a warning before they both came.

"Afterwards is kinda gross…" Cartman said, wiping his hand on his coveralls, while Kyle stepped into the small bathroom connected to his room to wash his hands properly.

"Yeah, kinda." Kyle agreed. Kyle stretched his arms over his head, feeling even more tired than before.

" _Now_ I'm going to bed." Kyle said, crawling into bed, and pulling the sheets over his small body.

"Okay." Cartman walked over to Kyle. "Goodnight" he said, before kissing the jewish boy on the forehead.

"What are you, my mom?"

Cartman looked thoughtful for a moment. "You're right, I'm not your mom," and followed this up by putting his hands on Kyle's cheeks before leaning down and kissing him on the mouth.

"Goodnight." Cartman said for a final time, before leaving thru a side door Kyle hadn't even noticed before. "By the way," Cartman added, "the lights are clap on and off." The hefty boy clapped his hands twice, and then left.

Darkness surrounded Kyle, and he couldn't help but wonder if any of this was real before sinking into a dark nothingness as sleep overcame him.********

The next morning, Kyle was surprised to wake up in the same strange unfamiliar room he had the day before.

Kyle rubbed his eyes, sitting up in his bed. "Ugh."

"Good morning, Kyle."

"Huh?" Kyle looked up, to see Cartman sitting in a chair, in a bathrobe. "What are you doing here?" Kyle asked as he hopped out of bed, still trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.

Cartman shrugged. "Bored."

"I really need to take a shower." Kyle said scratching his itchy neck.

Kyle stepped his small bathroom, and began brushing his teeth. "This is trippy." He said.

He didn't say anything when he felt Cartman begin to rub his back.

"...How long have you been awake?"

"'About an hour."

"Huh." Kyle spat into the sink, and set down his toothbrush.

"What about Stan and Kenny?"

"I don't know about them."

"...Should we find them?"

"I don't really want to talk about them…" Cartman said, lightly kissing the back of Kyle's neck.

Kyle felt a bit self conscience since he didn't know when the last time he showered was, but Cartman didn't seem to mind.

Kyle turned around in place, and the two began to kiss properly.

Kyle knitted one of his hand thru Cartman's hair, and accidently let out a moan when he began kissing his neck.

Kyle put a hand over his mouth in embarrassment.

Cartman chuckled. "You moan just from having your neck kissed?"

"N-no..." Kyle defended.

"You sure...?"

Cartman began roughly kissing Kyle's neck.

"Nnn...!"

Kyle did his best to not make any noise, but as a result ended up making pathetic whimpering sounds.

"C'mon Kyle, don't hold back... let me hear your sexy voice…"

Kyle felt a shiver go down his spine from Cartman calling his voice sexy.

To up the ante a bit, Cartman began palming the smaller boy, who finally gave up trying to hold back his voice.

"Hah… ah! ...ah…."

Cartman lifted his head up and whispered a single question in Kyle's ear, "Want me to jerk you off?"

Cartman pulled back, and looked into Kyle's eyes, awaiting an answer.

"Yeah okay… but fast, I have to take a shower."

"Fine with me."

Kyle unzipped his coveralls, and slid them down. Cartman began stroking him, slowly at first, but speeding up as time went on.

"Ha… ah… i'm gonna…" Was all Kyle managed to say before feeling the familiar feeling of release.

Cartman wiped his hand off, and Kyle asked, "Want me to do you now?"

"You don't have to."

"It's fine." Kyle said, getting on his knees in front of the husky boy.

Cartman gave him an unsure look, but untied the fuzzy belt of his robe. Parting the soft fabric Kyle put his hand around the base and put the majority of it in his mouth and began gently sucking.

It didn't take long until Cartman was holding back his moans, his face bright red.

"Ah… hah…"

Cartman leaned against the counter to keep his balance. "hah...I'm… gonna…"

Kyle immediately got up and spat in the sink.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." Kyle said, wiping his mouth. "I gotta take a shower now."

Cartman retired the belt of his bathrobe. "I'll meet you in the cafeteria afterward?"

"Sure." Kyle replied.

Cartman left, and Kyle began undressing, shutting the bathroom door for good measure.

Kyle welcomed the familiar feeling of beads of water hitting his skin. He thought about what Cartman and him had just done, and let his hand slide down, thinking back to it.

When Kyle reached the cafeteria, he quickly found Stan, Kenny, and Cartman sharing a table, and sat down.

"Hey dudes."

"Oh, hey Kyle."

"So, what do you guys wanna do today?"

"Just walk around?"

"Mmmph mmph."

"I'm in."

"Fine with me."

"Can I come?"

Everyone at the table turned to Butters, who smiled innocently.

"Ugh. Go away Butters." Cartman moaned.

"Oh, C'mon Cartman, don't be like that." Stan turned to Butters. "Sure, you can come."

"Alright!"

The group of five left the building, and began exploring the endless city together. Eventually, they ended up at the park.

"Hey what's going on over there?"

The group watched as a group of Aliens, some wearing flower headbands and tie dye t-shirts stood around a bunch of trees holding signs. A group of dark blue aliens in suits were arguing with some of them.

"Protect our trees!" Some of them were chanting.

"Oh, dude, I think there protesting." Stan said. "Maybe we should join."

"Hell no! There just a bunch of no good hippies."

"Oh C'mon. M-maybe we should just talk to them!"

The group walked up to the protesters. "Hey, what's going on?" Stan asked.

An orange alien wearing a leather vest looked down at the kids. "Protecting the tree's man! This city has barely any as it is! We can't let them cut these down."

Another alien offered Stan a sign. "Wanna help protest with us?"

Stan took the sign. "Sure."

"Psh, count me out." Cartman said, defiantly.

The Aliens handed the other boys signs. "Haha, this is so cool!"Butters said.

About an hour later, Stan, Kenny, and Butters were still protesting, and Cartman was sat under the shade of a tree looking bored.

Kyle was sitting on a rock, lost in thought. In truth, he was a bit bored himself, but didn't want to say so.

Maybe he'd just shut his eyes…*******

"Hu… huh?"

By the time Kyle woke up, he realized he was walking. Someone was pulling him along.

Someone shoved drinks and bags of food into his arms. "Here hold these."

Kyle looked around. They were at a fastfood joint.

"Kyle, c'mon!"

"Oh- coming!"

When they got back to the park, they passed the food out to their other friends, before Cartman convinces Kyle to leave with him.

They walked into a large building, and sat down at a table and began eating. Kyle quickly realized that it was a library, and sought out a book that would help him understand more about this planet.

By the end of it, he found out the planet's name.

Kucreon

Kyle sighed, feeling content. Like he had made the first step to finally return home. Or, if this really was a dream, wake up.********

At five, all five of them lined up with their fellow school mates just in time for curfew, before sitting at a table together.

"My arm is killing me." Stan complied, rubbing his shoulder.

"I think I might have gotten sunburnt." Butters said.

"I found out the name of this planet." Kyle announced.

"What?"

"Kucreon."

"...Huh."

"Never heard of it."

"Mph mpher."

Butters, who was sat beside Kyle, stared at him for a moment. "Hey Kyle, what happened to your neck? It's covered in marks."

Kyle covered his neck with his hand slightly embarrassed, and Stan made an expression as if he was gonna be sick.

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna throw up…" Stan said.

Afterward, mutually tired and worn out, everyone went back to their rooms, with the exception of Cartman, who once again mysteriously appeared in Kyle's room.

"How do you keep getting in here?"

"Our rooms are connected."

"Oh." Kyle leaned back against the headboard of his bed, mindlessly watching the muted television. "Isn't it kind of strange that our rooms happen to be next to each other?"

"Not really." Cartman climbed onto Kyle's bed, and Kyle moved over so he'd have room. "It's alphabetical."

"But hey, It's your dream, Kyle." Cartman smiled at him.

Kyle's face went slightly pink, and Cartman leaned closer and gently kissed Kyle's lips, before pulling back ever so slightly.

Kyle gazed into Cartman's chocolate brown eyes. "Cartman, can I ask you a question?" He whispered.

"Sure."

"Is this really just a dream?"

"Who knows?"

Kyle picked up the remote off his nightstand, and turned the tv off. "I'm gonna go to bed now."

"Okay. Want me to leave?"

Cartman was about to hop off the bed, when Kyle grabbed his arm.

"No… stay."

"Alright."

Kyle clapped twice, turning off the lights, and got under the covers, as did Cartman.

Kyle leaned on his side, facing away from the brunette. "You can hold me, if you want." He said.

He felt an arm silently slink around his waist, and was pulled against Cartman's warm body.

As Kyle drifted off to sleep, he wasn't sure whose heartbeat he was feeling. He had only been on this planet for two days, and yet there was so much he still didn't understand.*******


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

"Kyle, wake up!"

Kyle blinked his eyes open, Immediately picking up on the sensation that Cartman was giving him light kisses on his neck, while simultaneously stroking his abdomen with his fingertips, effectively tickling him.

"Stop!" Kyle wailed desperately, in between laughs, and frantically pushing the larger boy off of him.

Cartman pulled his hands away. "Sorry."

Kyle wrapped his arms around the husky boy. "Let's go back to sleep."

Kyle almost fell asleep again when he heard his door open, along with a familiar voice.

"Kyle? Are you still asleep?"

Kyle lifted his head up. "Butters?" Kyle sat up.

Butters smiled. "Hey, we gonna go hang out again today?"

Kyle scratched his head. "Uh…"

Cartman sat up as well, an annoyed look on his face.

"Butters, fuck off."

Butters looked at the two confused. "Why are you two sleeping in the same bed together?"

"Huh?"

Kyle looked over at the brunette. "Um…"

"Butters, watch." Cartman said, and scooted closer to Kyle. He then placed his hands behind Kyle's neck, and kissed him right on the mouth for a good few seconds before pulling away. Kyle nervously looked over at the blonde, who had a look of horror on his face.

Butters then proceeded to scream and then run out of the room.

"Dude, Cartman, what the hell?!" Kyle asked angrily, hitting him the shoulder. "Why would you do that?"

Cartman chuckled. "Who cares. It's just Butters."

Kyle hit with his pillow. "I do!"

Angry, Kyle got out of bed. "I'm gonna take a shower." He slammed the door behind him.

After his morning routine of showering, brushing, and changing into clean clothes, Kyle met up with the rest of his friends in the cafeteria. However, the table was filled in such a way, that the only place for him to sit was beside Cartman, so he did, making a point to ignore him. That is, until he felt Cartman place his hand over his own. At first he thought it was a mistake, until he realized he wasn't moving it away.

"...So Kyle, what do you think?"

"Huh?"

"We were all gonna go to the park and protest again today, you in?"

Cartman rolled his eyes, "You gotta be kidding me..."

"Sure, I'll come."

By that afternoon, Kenny and Butters were sitting in a circle with the other protesters, chatting, flower crowns on their heads. Stan had left the park earlier with Wendy to walk around the city together.

Cartman on the other hand… Kyle had no idea where he was. By the evening, Kyle decided he'd look for him on his own.

"Cartman?" Kyle walked around yet another bend, leading to the same result. He was nowhere to be seen. Kyle sighed, but kept looking.

Suddenly, a pair of arms grabbed him from behind.

"Eeep! Let me go!"

"Kyle, relax, it's me."*********

Kyle turned around. "Cartman! Where have you been?"

Cartman let go of the smaller boy. "Here and there."

"Whatever."

Cartman gave Kyle an odd look. "Did you miss curfew? It's 6 o'clock you know."

Kyle paled. "Shit! I completely forgot!"

"Relax, I didn't show up either."

"...What's going to happen to us?"

"Who cares." Cartman said. "Besides, we might as well stay out now."

"I guess."

Cartman smiled. "Actually, can I take you somewhere?"

"Where?"

"You'll see."

Kyle followed Cartman halfway across the city to the mysterious place. He didn't say anything when he felt Cartman grab his hand halfway there.

They arrived at what looked to be an indoor park. It was different than the other one he had been to before.

After stepping thru automatic doors Cartman said "you can take your helmet off in here." So they both did.

After finding the perfect spot, They laid down on the grass. "Why did you want to come here?" Kyle asked.

"Just watch the sky." Cartman said.

He did so, and after an hour, he was completely mesmerized by the stars. And then he saw it. A giant red flash. Kyle shot up.

"What was that?"

"A firework."

Another second went by before three more flashes lit up the sky.

"Tonight is a festival." Cartman explained.

Kyle layed back down, and the two boys enjoyed the show. Kyle suddenly felt a chill go down his spine. Like he just realized just how close Cartman and him were sitting. He felt his heartbeat speed up a little bit. He almost jumped when he heard Cartman's voice.

"Kyle?"

Cartman sat up, and leaned over Kyle, looking in his eyes. He stroked his cheek with his hand, and Kyle placed his hand on top of his.

"Let's go back now."

Exhausted, the two walked all the way back to their assigned building, and snuck into Kyle's room. Too tired to do much else, the two crawled into Kyle's bed not bothering to change clothes, and fell asleep together.**********

The next day, when Kyle woke up, his room was filled with aliens. They were pacing around, and doing random chores. But, as he continued to stare, they all looked at him, their eye's dark pits. Kyle tried to scream, but couldn't. They all began to walk closer to him, but he couldn't move. It felt like there was something on top of his chest to. He was gasping for air, but felt light headed, like he were about to faint. Desperately, he tried to move. He could move his fingers. Then his arm. Then his chest. He shot up, gasping for air, his body sweaty. He was awake. It was just a dream.

He looked around. It was still dark, but he was undoubtedly still in the same strange room he had woken up in three days ago. Cartman was awake to, staring at him.

"Kyle, are you okay?"

Kyle panted, trying to refuel his body with oxygen. "I had a nightmare." he said.

"Oh." Cartman said. "Yeah, I thought… well you suddenly stopped breathing, so I shook you awake."

Kyle felt slightly embarrassed by this.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Six a.m. We might as well get up now." Cartman pulled the covers off of himself. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

The two ended up in the cafeteria. There were only a few others there. Eventually, there other friends showed up, and they chatted.

Seemingly randomly, a whistle was blown, and they were all asked to line up in the hall for a morning protocol.

The same man in tan uniform passed out devices to them all. "These are all pagers. You can use them to communicate with each other, or press the emergency button if you're in trouble. You're all only getting one, so don't loose it. They also have an alarm function, to ensure that none of you are late for protocol in the evenings." The man gave Cartman and Kyle a dirty look.

"So… Their like cell phones?" Craig asked.

"What? No. Their pagers."

"I'm pretty sure-"

"Look, It doesn't matter what them, just don't loose them. That is all."

Everyone dispersed, and Cartman said to Kyle, "Dude this is sweet!"

"It is?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, hey I got an Idea. We'll explore the city separately, y'know cover more ground, and use these to stay in touch. And we'll get the others to do it as well."

"Huh, I guess."

Cartman managed to get Stan, Kenny, Craig, Clyde, Butters and Tweek all in on his idea.

"Okay, everyone separate." Cartman said once they were all outside, and they all did.

"Kyle, wait!" Kyle turned around. Butters was running up to him. "C-can we walk together? I don't want to have to walk around alone. I have a pretty bad sense of direction."

"Sure." Kyle said.

As they walked, Kyle noticed Butters giving him the occasional odd look.

Finally, Butters asked, "H-hey Kyle, can I ask you s-something?"

"What?"

"Do… Do you and Cartman always do that?" Butters rubbed his knuckles together nervously. "K-kiss I mean."

Kyle sighed. "Butters, Cartman only did that because he was pulling a prank on you."

"O-oh." Butters replied.

They walked in silence for a moment before Kyle added, "But… yeah we do."

Butters stared him. "Really?Why?"

"We just do."

"What's it like? I've only kissed girls before… well a girl… and I had to pay her for it…"

"I don't know. Normal I guess."

"D-does it feel good?"

"I guess."

"Can I try?"

Kyle gave Butters a strange look.

"Well, uh, I'm j-just kinda curious is all…" Butters said.

Kyle considered it. "Yeah, okay. Just close your eyes."

"Uh, right…" Butters shut his eyes.

Kyle thought over whether or not this was a mistake one more time, before lightly kissing the boy.

Kyle stepped back, and Butters opened his eyes. "that's it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it really wasn't that different from kissing a girl…" Butters said.

"Just forget it, okay? Let's just keep moving."

The two boys continued walking thru the city, But stopped in front of a large building.

"Hey, Kyle, look at that! It looks like a movie theatre!"

As the two stepped closer, Kyle agreed that it did in fact look like one. "Pretty cool right?"

The two stepped inside, and asked the alien behind the desk. "Movie theater? ...Oh, you must have those back on earth. Yeah this is. Although here we call them movie palaces."

"Do you hear that, Kyle? We could watch a movie!"

"I don't know, let me first tell Cartman." Kyle opened his pager, and selected Cartman's number.

"Cartman? You there?"

"This is Commander in chief, over. Who wishes to speak?"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "It's Kyle. Me and Butters found a movie theater. Butters wants to stay and watch a movie."

"A movie theater? Thats pretty sweet… Where is it?"

Kyle described the location best he could. "I see… Well, tell Butters he can't, you two need to keep moving."

Butters frowned, and said "Oh, darnit."

"Yeah, sorry, but it's bad enough you two are together, can't cover as much ground. Can't have the both of you two give out on me completely now. Don't dissapoint me, Broflovski. Commander in chief, over and out."

Butters kicked a can as they walked. "Aw man, It's too bad we couldn't stay for a movie. Walking around is pretty boring…"

"Yeah, but Cartman has a point. We need to find out more about this planet."

"I guess." Butters replied, glumly.

The two explored more, checking in with the others every so often, until they all agreed to meet at a restaurant.

All eight sat together at two joined tables, eating and discussing what they had seen and found.

"Alright everyone, we covered a lot of ground this morning. Let's see that we cover a little more." Cartman said.

"Who put you in charge?" Clyde asked.

Cartman gave Clyde a dirty look. "It was my idea, so of course I'm in charge."

After a few more hours of looking about, Everyone made it back to what now everyone was referring to as 'base' at five sharp. After dismissal, everyone went to the cafeteria.

Afterward, Kyle decided to immediately go to his room for bed. The walking had worn him out.

As he laid in his bed, Kyle wondered if he could get into Cartman's room as easily as it seemed Cartman could get into his.

Stepping up to the door in between their rooms for the first time, Kyle stood and waited for them to open. When they didn't, he looked around, and found a button. He pressed it, and the doors opened.

Kyle stepped inside, but the room was dark. No way Cartman was already asleep? Kyle clapped twice, and the room lit up. Cartman was… nowhere in the room. Where could he possibly be?

Kyle had checked everywhere in the building, but no one had seen Cartman or knew where he was. 'He must have snuck out.' Kyle thought to himself, slipping his helmet on. 'I'll just have to find him myself.'

Kyle looked around the entire city. It got later and later, but still no sign of his heavier friend. Kyle walked farther than he ever had, not recognising any of the buildings.

But then he saw it. A door to a large building swung open, and there he was.

"Cartman!" Kyle called.

Cartman looked at Kyle, surprised. "Kyle?"

Kyle ran up to the boy. "Dude, why are you here? Were an hour away from base, and its super late!"

Cartman shuffled his feet nervously. "Nothing much."

"Nothing much? Seriously?" Kyle grabbed Cartman's hand and began dragging back in the direction of home, "Let's just head back now."

As they walked, Cartman kept fidgeting his hand, until it was positioned so that they could interlace fingers.

"Kyle did you… find me because you couldn't sleep?"

Kyle felt his face go red. "Maybe.. I don't know…"

After the long walk home, both removed their helmets, and changed for the night.

With few words exchanged, both agreed to sleep in Kyle's bed, and crawled in together.

And, happily wrapped in eachothers arms, They fell asleep.********

He felt like… he was under water. Only different. It was to thick. It felt to solid to be water. There was to much pressure. He couldn't breathe...

Kyle gasped for air, taking in sharp breaths, almost completely unaware of the boy beside him.

"Kyle, are you alright?"

Kyle stared at the boy, realizing he was drenched in a cold sweat. He pushed Cartman's hand away. "I'm fine. What happened?"

"You stopped breathing again!" Cartman tugged at his own hair. "Ugh, that's it! I'm gonna get you help!"

"Help? Whaddya mean?"

Kyle soon found out after breakfast when Cartman dragged him to the door of a psychologist's office.

"Um, Cartman? I don't think this is necessary…"

"Relax Kyle, It's fine. Just tell the psychologist what's wrong and then we'll be on our way." Cartman said pushing him thru the door.

"Um, hello?" Kyle said to the large blob shaped green alien, who was sitting in a chair.

"Please, sit down." The alien offered, "My names , and your..?"

"Kyle." Kyle replied, sitting down. "My friend sent me."

"Ah I see. So what seems to be the problem?"

"I'm not really sure. I just keep having these weird dreams. I can't breathe, but then I wake up gasping."

The alien wrote something down. "...I see. I think I know what the problem might be."

"You do?"

"Kyle, is there anything troubling you right now? Any insecurities, fears, that sort of thing?"

Kyle thought about it. "I don't think so…"

"Well, seeing as I have other patients today, I'm gonna leave you with this: Try to find out what's bothering you the most, and then rectify it. From what I can tell, these dreams are a symptom of distress. Remove the distress from your life, and your nightly predicament should be gone as well."

Kyle stood up. "Thanks." Kyle left the room.

"Well? How was it?" Cartman asked.

"It was okay."

The two stepped out of the way, as Clyde was led by two of his friends in thru the doorway. "I wanna go home." He whined, as he was crying.

The two looked down the hallway to see half their class lined up. "Wow, I guess we weren't the only ones who thought to come here."

Agreeing to spend the rest of the day relaxing, The two walked down the sidewalk together. Kyle had his hands in his pockets, thinking about what the therapist had said.

"We should do something fun, to help you feel better." Cartman said.

"I'm fine. I really do feel okay."

Just then, Cartman's pager went off, and he said, "Hello?" He then stepped off to the side so Kyle couldn't hear.

"Hey, Kyle." Butters said, walking up to him.

"Hey Butters."

Cartman returned. "Sorry Kyle, I have... somewhere I need to go." Cartman looked at Butters. "I'll leave you with Butters. See you later."

Cartman left before Kyle could ask where he had to be. "Butters, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, uh, actually Stan wanted me to find you. Were all protesting at the park again today, and we thought you could join us."

Kyle agreed, and the two walked to the park. "Kyle, I knew you'd come!" Stan said excitedly running up to his friend when he got there. Stan offered him a flower crown, and took his hand, dragging him with him. "Come, sit in our circle with us."

Spending the rest of the day relaxing and doing basically nothing in a park gave Kyle time to think. But all he could think about was what Cartman was up to.*******

Kyle ended up not seeing Cartman until it was dinner time. The two sat across from each other.

"Sorry I couldn't hang out with you even after I said I would." Cartman apologized.

"It's fine. But where the hell were you?"

"Just… taking care of some business."

"Doing what?"

"Look, don't worry about it Kyle." Cartman said. "But, more importantly, do you feel better after seeing the psychologist?"

"I guess."

When the two later went to Kyle's room.

"Kyle I think I know just what will make you feel better," Cartman said smiling, and grabbed Kyle by the arm and began leading him out the door.

"Alright, alright." Kyle replied, "But where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

As the two walked, Kyle began to recognize the area. "Wait, are we going to the movie theatre?"

"I thought watching a movie would cheer you up."

When they stepped inside, they both only got soda's and popcorn, before picking a movie and then sitting down.

The entire room went completely dark, and then the movie began to play.

Twenty minutes in, the two were really enjoying the film, it being nothing like anything they had ever seen on earth.

When they got back, they both were again in Kyle's room again. At first they excitedly discussed the movie they had watched, which lead to Cartman asking Kyle if he would like a back massage, to which he said yes.

Kyle sat on his bed, and Cartman was behind him, rubbing his back. He leaned back into Cartman's touch, welcoming the feeling. It felt nice.

"Want me to make you feel even better?" Cartman asked.

"Mmm." Kyle hummed in agreement.

Silently crawling off of the bed, Cartman kneeled on the floor in between Kyle's legs, and stroked his inner thighs.

"Take off your coveralls."

Kyle unzipped them, and rolled them down a little, along with his underwear. Cartman dipped down, and put most of it in his mouth, and began sucking gently.

"Ah… hah…." Kyle moaned.

As Cartman continued, it began to feel better and better to Kyle. "Ah! ...ah… Cartman, that feels… so good… ah..." Kyle could feel his face go red from embarrassment.

As Cartman sped up a bit, Kyle began to feel very heavenly, but also felt very close, and did his best to warn the other boy.

"Ah.. I'm gonna…" Was all Kyle managed to say before feeling a familiar feeling of release.

Cartman pulled away, wiping his mouth. His face was also a bit red.

Kyle shimmied his boxers back on, and re zipped his coveralls. "You want me to do you now?" Kyle asked.

Cartman looked a bit timid and embarrassed. "You don't mind…?"  
"No, It's fine, just take your clothes off."

Carefully, Cartman did. "Here, I'll do it on the bed." Both crawled onto the bed, and Cartman sat against the headboard.

Kyle positioned himself in between Cartman's legs, and dipped his head down, putting his hand around the base, and licking the tip, eliciting a slight whimper from Cartman before putting the whole thing in his mouth.

As Kyle sped up his pace, Cartman began to moan, feeling better and better. "Ah.. ah… Kyle, you're the best… ah!" Cartman could feel his entire face heat up by now.

Kyle sped up his pace, making Cartman begin to feel like he was on cloud nine, but also very close. "Ah! Kyle, I'm gonna…" He said, before Kyle felt him come in his mouth, and pulled away, grimacing from the bitter taste. He walked over to the bathroom, and spat it out in the sink.

At first, Cartman was worried he was mad, until Kyle came back, crawled back onto the bed, and began deeply kissing him.

Both embarrassed, but still feeling very hot and bothered, Cartman kissed back just as feverishly. Kyle had wrapped his arms around Cartman's body, pressing there bodys close together, which Cartman didn't mind at all.

The two separated for a moment, to catch their breaths, and Kyle wondered for a moment what Cartman's reaction would be to him kissing his neck the way Cartman had to him before, and decided to test it out.

Kyle leaned down, and began kissing his neck, causing Cartman to moan from the feeling. Looks like Cartman was even more sensitive than him.

They kissed a bit more, before Kyle got tired, and settled into Cartman's arms. After a few minutes, Kyle moved away.

"We better get ready for bed."

"Yeah." Cartman replied, scooting off the bed. Both brushed their teeth and changed their clothing.

Cartman stepped back into Kyle's room. "Hey Kyle?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sleep with you?" He asked, as if it weren't already obvious that Kyle wanted him to.

Kyle smiled, and pulled the covers aside. "Sure."

Cartman crawled into the bed under the blankets, and the two cuddled up to each other.***********

The next morning, Kyle woke up first, stretching his arms. He looked over at the sleeping boy beside him.

He leaned closer. "Cartman? You awake?" Kyle place a hand on his cheek and lightly kissed the sleeping boy. When he did it a second time, Cartman grabbed him, and flipped him over so he was on top of him, surprising Kyle.

He leaned down, and kissed back, and the two began kissing deeply, not holding back their moaning as they did so. After a moment, Cartman pulled back, and looked down into Kyle's eyes. "Good morning."

"Good morning."

Cartman leaned back down, and the two began kissing again, more roughly this time, letting their hands roam each others bodys.

"Ah… Cartman…" Kyle moaned in between a kiss. He then caught Cartman's eye, and paused. "Hey Cartman? There's something I need to tell you."

Kyle was worried what Cartman's reaction would be, but knew he had to tell him. Impatiently, Cartman began kissing Kyle's neck, eliciting a satisfying moan from the boy beneath him. "What is it?"

"...I kissed Butters."

Cartman pulled away. "You what?!"

"Look, It wasn't anything major, just a peck on the lips… but I felt like I had to tell you."

"That son of a bitch!" Cartman snarled.

"It was nothing, okay? It was my fault to, so promise you won't hurt him?"

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Fine, I promise."

Later that morning, Cartman walked into the Cafeteria. He walked over to where Butters was sitting. "Butters come here."

"Huh? Oh hey Eric-" Butters said, getting up, but was silenced when Cartman kneed him in the gut. "Ugh…" He groaned before falling to the ground.

Stan immediately jumped up from his seat, "What the hell, Cartman?! Why would you do that?"

Cartman spat on the blonde, who was crumpled on the floor. "Bastard deserved it."*******


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

Kyle blinked his eyes open in confusion. "Huh?" There were various aliens in the room, and when he looked to the side he saw that Cartman was once again in his white bathrobe.

"Yeah, Some more shrimp would be good."

"Of course, sir."

"Cartman, what the hell's going on? What are all these people doing in here?"

"Ah Kyle, you're awake. Don't mind them. They're just gonna serve us from now on."

"What?!"

"Yeah, let's just say… I have some connections." Cartman said, playfully elbowing him and winked at him.

"You know what, I don't want to know." Kyle said, hopping out of bed. "I'm gonna take a shower." Kyle undressed, and stepped into the shower and washed himself. When he was done, he turned the water off.

"Your towel, sir."

"Thanks." Kyle said, taking the towel, and began drying himself. "Wait what?!" Kyle looked over shocked to see an older alien in a suit beside him. "Get out!" He yelled.

"As you wish, sir."

Kyle stormed out of the bathroom, and headed to the cafeteria. Hearing no word from Cartman, nor knowing where he was, or wanting to for that matter, Kyle agreed when Stan asked him to come protest again today.

Stan, Butters, Kenny, a few others and himself were at the park for less than an hour when a bunch of cars showed up, and more dark blue aliens in suits stepped out. All the protesters immediately picked up their signs, waving them around.

"Dude, not more of these guys." Stan said, getting up from the ground as well. "Go away! We'll never let you cut down these tree's!"

Along with the suited aliens, someone else stepped out of one of the cars, wearing a suit himself, his hair carefully parted to the side.

The boys jaws dropped. "Cartman?!"

"Ah, Stan, Butters. I see you're still playing your little game of save the environment."

"It's not a game, Cartman, It's serious. And what the hell are you doing with those guys?"

"What do you think, hippie? This entire forest was planned to be cut down a week ago, And we're all here to tell you to take your flower crowns and cardboard signs elsewhere, and let the grown ups get to work."

"I can't believe you're on their side!" Stan yelled back at him, "Don't you care about the environment at all?"

Cartman looked at his fingernails. "Hmm… Do I care about the environment, let me see… nope."

"Fuck you Cartman, were not leaving just cause you tell us to."

"Mmph!"

Cartman glared at the group. "You have to!" Cartman looked over at Kyle. "Kyle, you're with me on this right?"

"What?!" Stan shouted, looking at his friend, "No way! Kyle's with us! Right Kyle?"

Kyle looked between Cartman and his best friend. And then back at Cartman. "Dude, of course I'm with Stan on this."

"What?! Kyle! Don't do this!" Cartman said, desperately, "I thought I could count on you!"

Kyle curled his hands into fists. "Well you thought wrong! I'm sorry Stan, but I can't be around this asshole for another second." Kyle said, before storming away.

"Fine! Be a jew about it!" Cartman yelled at him angrily.

Butters ran after Kyle.

Kyle angrily walked in straight line with no particular destination. He just wanted to get away. Away from Cartman. The person he thought was his friend. Kyle kicked a rock as he walked. How the hell could Cartman do this? This whole time, he was working with those scum, and the expected him to just abandon his best friend last minute and join him.

"Kyle wait up!" Butters ran up to him.

"I don't wanna talk right now."

"But Kyle, where are you going? Aren't you gonna stay at the park with us and keep protesting?"

"Not right now. I'm too mad."

"Oh, uh, I see…" Butters rubbed his knuckles together nervously. "Where are you going?"

Kyle looked straight ahead. And up a bit. "I think I know exactly where I'm going."********

Cartman tried to call Kyle with his pager for a third time, but had no luck. "God dammit." He muttered. Cartman turned to Butters. "Butters, you were the last person to talk to Kyle. Did he say where he was going?"

"Oh, uh, All he said was that he was leaving. He said that he wanted to get as f-far away from you as possible."

Cartman's eyes suddenly went wide. "Wait, fuck, he couldn't have meant… no way did he actually…"

Cartman cursed under his breathe, and got into one of the cars. "Rubio, Drive!"

"And where would you be doing today, sir?"

Cartman pointed in the direction Kyle had left in. "That way. And just keep driving."******

The car slid to a stop when it simply ran out road to drive on, and Cartman jumped out. He ran up to the female alien guarding the access to the door that led out of the city.

"May I help you, young man?"

"Yes, was my friend here? He's about my height, same age?"

"Hmm…" She tapped her pencil against her chin. "Why yes, I think I know who you're talking about. Is it that boy over there?" She pointed over where Kyle was sitting on a rock, about 10 meters outside of the city.

Cartman banged on the glass door. "Kyle, you get back in here right now!"

"Shut up, you're not my mom!"

"God dammit…" Cartman muttered. He turned to the alien. "Well, open the doors!"

"Identification number?"

"0342."

"Alrighty then." She looked Cartman up an down. "You sure you want to go out there?"

"What? Yes I'm sure! I have to get my dumbass friend!"

"I heard that!"

"Alrighty." She said with a shrug, and hit a button. The doors slid open, and Cartman stepped outside, and approached Kyle.

Kyle was facing away from him, but could still hear him getting closer. "I don't want to talk to you right now, fatass!"

"Kyle, get back inside! It's dangerous out here!"

Kyle turned around. "I don't care!" As he said this, Kyle saw something out of the corner of his eye, but then it was to late for him to react. Suddenly, everything went black.******

"Ugh…" Kyle blinked his eyes open. His head hurt, and he touched it to feel a bandage wrapped around it. He was in a hospital room. He noticed someone beside his bed.

"Cartman?"

"Thank god, you finally woke up." Cartman stroked his cheek affectionately.

"What happened?"

Cartman pulled his hand away. "Well, you being the dumbass you are, you thought it'd be a good idea to leave the city, and basically got bitch slapped by a big motherfucking ass rock. I mean, jesus christ Kahl, what the hell were you thinking?"

Kyle rubbed his head. "I did?" Kyle tried to remember why he left the city limits in the first place.

Cartman wrapped him in a hug. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Kyle shoved him away. "Wait a second- you're the reason I left in the first place!"

"Don't pin on me Kyle, I didn't make you do anything!"

Kyle balled his hands into fists, and not caring about his injury, hopped out of bed. "What are you playing at, Cartman? First you join those dirt bags, and then expect me join you?"

"You don't understand Kyle, I'm doing this because I have to! And so do you!"

"I don't have to do anything!" Kyle said, storming out of the room.

"You're making a mistake, Kyle!" Cartman warned, but Kyle wasn't listening.

"Kyle, your back!" Stan said, as Kyle approached.

"Yep."

"What happened to your head?"

"I got hit by a rock, But I'm fine."

"Yikes, ouch."

"Hey, Cartman left looking for you." Stan chuckled, "I was almost worried that he had talked you into joining him and leaving us."

"Wait, what time is it?"

"It's already almost curfew. We waited hoping you'd come back."

"B-but now, we really gotta head back to base…"

"But we'll return tomorrow?" Kyle asked.

"We sure will!"

"Good."

As they walked home, Stan abruptly asked, "Oh my god, was Cartman the one who hurt you?"

"No, nothing like that. In fact, I'm pretty sure he saved my life…" Stan gave his best friend an odd look. "But It doesn't matter, I'm still pissed at him, just as much as everyone else."

"Y-yeah, he's a no good, uh, mean spirited traitorous backstabber!" Butters pitched in.

"Well don't worry Kyle," Stan said, wrapping an arm around his best friend, "We'll show him that we're serious, and not leave the park no matter what he says. Space trees aren't just gonna save themselves, after all."********

That night at Dinner, Cartman was nowhere to be seen, nor that evening, night, or even next morning.

For the next few days, the days were fairly uniform, consisting of now half their class showing up at the park to help protest, and their being an all out yelling match between the suit clad aliens and Cartman against the lot of them and the other protesting aliens.

"You idiots don't understand, this planet's entire economic position in this galaxy is based off of it's production yield!" Cartman shouted.

"You don't even know what half those words mean!" Stan shot back.

"I know enough to know that if you idiots keep this up, we're all going to be screwed!"

"You've just been brainwashed by a greedy corperation to think that!"

"I have not!"

Things escalated to their highest when Cartman showed up with a gun.

"Dude, you can't shoot us! This is a peaceful protest!"

"Actually, considering you're on government owned property, the government has allowance to take whatever actions it deems necessary. And, by being in association with the highest ranked cooperation in the galaxy," Cartman cocked his gun, aiming it at the group, "means that I **am** the government. And I deem this necessary."

"Dude, he seriously might shoot one of us!" Clyde said, in a panicked voice.

"No he won't." Kyle said cooly. "He's too much of a wuss."

Everyone looked at Kyle in shock. "Uh, dude? I don't really don't think you should provoke him…"

"Why not? He's not actually going to do it." Kyle walked up to Cartman, until he was only a few inches away. "Are you?"

Cartman grit his teeth. "Don't push me Kyle."

"Is that so?" Kyle asked, stepping closer, until the barrel was against his shoulder. "Do it. Shoot me."

The tension in the air was almost tangible, and after a moment, Kyle rolled his eyes, "See, I told you guys he wouldn't-"

His words were interrupted by the deafening sound of a gunshot, followed by dead silence.

It wasn't Kyle he had shot, but rather one of the alien protesters a few meters away. The alien fell to the ground, with a sickening thud.

Everyone's eyes went wide. "Holy shit dude!"

As everyone ran up to the fallen protester to help him, Kyle looked back at Cartman. He grabbed onto Kyle's sleeve, balling the soft material in his fist.

Cartman stared at him with desperation in his eyes, and for the final time asked:

"Kyle, Join me." Their was a note of desperation his voice, "Please."

Kyle yanked his arm away. "Your on your own Cartman."

"You don't have to do this, Kyle!" Cartman spat, "If this planet fails at being profitable, then it will be- "

"Shut up! I don't believe a word you say!"

All eyes turned to the two.

"And stop singling me out for help, because quite frankly, I, I…" Kyle searched his mind for the right words, "I hate you!"

For a brief moment, a look of hurt flickered across Cartman's face, which he quickly masked with a look of anger. He gave the group a distasteful wave, "Screw you guys." He said, before leaving for the final time.*********

The next day the suited aliens and Cartman were nowhere to be seen, and as such, everyone was taking it easy. It being a quiet day, the kids sat around bored.

"Is there anything I can do?" Kyle asked impatiently.

"You could put some eco friendly signs in the ground." Craig said.

"Fine, I'll go do that."

"Uh, I'll help." Stan said, getting up.

As Kyle angrily hammered a sign into the ground, clearly letting out some steam, Stan loitered behind him, holding materials and tools.

Stan looked around, but the two of them were basically alone.

"Um, Kyle?"

"What?"

"Can I uh, ask you something?"

"I'm not really in the mood to talk right now."

"Well, yeah, I know. But it's just… well I was curious about something."

"What?"

Kyle began hammering another sign into the ground.

"Well, it's just…" Stan toyed with his hands nervously. "Remember how, a few weeks ago, you and Cartman came over to my house and told me that the two of you… did stuff together?"

"What about it?"

"Well, uh, you said the two of you… kissed? Is that really true? Have you really kissed Cartman before?"

"Stan, I really want to talk about Cartman right now-" The two's conversation was interrupted by the screeching sound of tires sliding against asphalt as a shiny black limo parked haphazardly against the curb, and an alien in funny clothes stumbling out.

"Who the hell are you?" Stan asked the stranger.

The alien looked down at the two. "Who, me? I'm the mayor of this town."

The two gawked at him in disbelief. "You're the mayor?"

The alien looked around nervously. "This is the last park I was gonna check… looks like there's protesters here too…" The man's voice wavered and he muttered something unintelligible.

"Wait, if you're the mayor, then don't you agree that these trees shouldn't be cut down?"

The man looked down at the two, giving them an obscure look. "Shouldn't?" He asked. He rubbed his hands nervously. "No, no… Should've been cut down… City needs money… Gonna be shut down…" The mayor muttered a few more unintelligible things, before quickly making his way back to the sloppily parked car and driving off, swerving as he drove away.

"The hell was with that guy?"

Before the two could process what had just transpired, the ground shook in a quick jolt, knocking them both off their feet.

"What the hell was that?" Kyle asked, and tried to stand up, but a second jolt swiftly knocked him down again.

"I think it's an earthquake!"

The two, along with everyone one else in the park, covered their ears when a deafening loud hum filled the sky.

"The hell's going on?!"

When the noise finally stopped, everyone got up, and gathered together. "Dude, the hell just happened?"

"M-man, that r-really freaked me out!"

"That was just an earthquake, right?"

"If it was just an earthquake, then what was that sound afterward?"

"There's only one thing we can do, Stan." Kyle said to his best friend. "The mayor seemed to know something. We have to find him. I bet he knows."

"Yeah, you're right!"

"Does anyone know where the mayor's building is?" Kyle asked their group.

Craig stepped forward. "I do. I ran into when we were all exploring."

"Do you think you can lead the way?"

"Sure."

Stan, Butters, Craig, and Kyle all walked to the mayor's building, and stepped inside, taking the elevator to the top floor, and stepped into a small office, where the same Alien from before dug threw a cabinet, unaware of their presence.

"Um, ?"

The alien jumped, "Eep! Oh, It's just you kids… can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, we want to know the hell's going on." Stan said sternly.

The alien rubbed his hands together nervously, "Wh-what do you mean…?"

"That noise! And the ground shaking! What caused that?"

"That was, uh, the united galaxy committe leaving. They had no plans to ever come back, so they didn't care if they made a lot of noise."

"You mean those evil corporate guys who were wearing those dumb suits?" The mayor nodded. "Well thats good, isnt it?

"Not exactly. They've cut off all funding to our planet and have taken every space vessel with them, so we have no way of-"

The mayor's voice was cut off by the sound of all four boys' pagers beeping. "Shit dude, we better leave now if we wanna be at base in time." Stan said. "We'll be back if we have more questions." All four boys left the office.

"Oh, if only you knew…" The mayor whispered to himself. "If only you knew."********

All fours boys lined up with everyone else, and the man they had gotten to know as paced back and forth.

"Well, children, I'm happy to see that you all arrived on time but I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Everyone was silent except for Craig. "What?"

"Well, It just so happens that the united galaxy committe has both dropped funding for this planet, along with taking every space vessel we had. So, basically… Even though we had planned to have you all to leave in four days, that is no longer possible." The man wrang his hands behind his back. "So basically… you're all stuck here. ...forever."

Everyone had a distraught look on their face. "Wait, but can't they just send another space ship here in four days?" Stan asked, his theory making perfect sense in his own mind.

The man took off his hat, and ran a hand thru his hair. "Like I said, they cut all funding to us. They were the ones funding this program, so… It doesn't look so good for us."

"So what, theyre just gonna abandon us here?!"

The man put his hat back. "Look, if I hear about any changes I'll let you all know immediately. But for now, your all excused, so just go eat dinner and go to your rooms."

There was a solemn atmosphere in the cafeteria that evening, as all the boys filled their trays with food, and sat down.

"Guys, look it's Cartman. Sitting alone over at that table." Craig said.

Sure enough, Cartman was sitting at a table, alone, eating like he didn't have a care in the world. No longer was he wearing a suit, but had returned to the same orange coveralls everyone else was wearing.

"Holy shit! Was he in line up? I didn't even notice."

Stan got up and walked over to the brunette. "Cartman, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you have left with your corporate buddies?"

"Didn't you morons hear?" Cartman said, addressing the entire group, "They cut funding to this planet. That includes me. I'm no longer associated with those assholes."

"You guys managed to piss them off enough to get them to completely abandon this planet, and leave us here."

"Uh, I guess we owe you an apology."

"Damn right. If you guys had just listened to me, we pry wouldn't be in this mess."

"Hey, don't blame us! How the hell were we supposed to know you were telling the truth? You lie all the time!" Craig said.

"Yeah!" Clyde agreed.

"Well it doesn't matter now anyways." Cartman said, returning his attention to his food.

Stan returned to his table, and the group solemnly ate. Stan nudged Kyle. "Aren't you gonna apologize to him?"

Kyle stirred his food on his plate. "I still don't want to talk to him."

Stan gave his friend an empathetic look. "You should. This is the first time you guys have been in this big of a fight in like forever." Kyle stayed silent, and Stan shrugged, returning to eating his dinner.

Later that night, Stan rolled over in his bed. Feeling cold, he reached out for more of his covers. "Here, you go." A voice said, handing him more of his covers.

"Thanks." He muttered, pulling the blankets over himself. He had almost drifted back to sleep when he shot up. "Wait-what?!"

In his bed lay Butters staring up at him. "Butters! What are you doing in my bed?!"

Butters sat up too. "Um, sleeping?"

"Butters, go back to your own bed!"

"I can't! Someone else is in my bed!"

"What? Who? And why?"

"Haha, well that's kinda a funny story…" Butters said rubbing his knuckles together. "Craig took my bed because Annie took his bed, because Red took her bed, because Kenny took her bed, because Jimmy took his bed, because Bebe took his bed, because Wendy took her bed, because Tweek took her bed, because Token took his bed, because Clyde took his bed, because," Butters took in a deep breath, "Kyle took his bed."

Stan stared at Butters, feeling very confused. "Whew, that was pretty hard to say!"

"Wait, then who's in Kyle's bed?"

"No one. I think he just doesn't want to be in there right now because his room is connected to Eric's room.

"Are you serious?" Stan said, getting out of bed, and walking to Clyde's room. Kyle was laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling when Stan approached him. "Kyle, don't you think this is a bit ridiculous? Just apologize to him tomorrow."

Kyle turned away from his friend. "I don't know, Stan. I told him I hated him, remember?"

"So what, you two used to tell each other that you hated each other all time." Stan said reassuringly. "Now can you please go back to your own room? I'm sick of Butters spooning me while I try to sleep."

"Okay." Kyle said, getting up, and walking back to his own room.

"Good." Stan said, and walked back to his room. He shook Butters awake. "Butters, tell everyone they can go back to there own bed now." He told the blonde, "And that includes you."

"Well, okay…" Butters said groggily, and got up and left. Stan layed back down in his now empty bed. He could hear the shuffling of his school mates as he drifted off to sleep."********

The next day, When Kyle woke up, he still didn't want to talk to Cartman, and just silently sat down for breakfast with his other friends.

Everyone was silent until Craig asked, "So.. what are we gonna do today?"

"I don't know." Stan said, "Maybe go back to the park?"

"Why?"

"The other protesters might know what's going on, so we could ask them."

"Okay."

When the group got to the park, there were fewer protesters than before. In fact, there were only a few left. They decided that not all of them needed to go around asking what was going on, and decided to elect Butters to do so.

Hours later, when Cartman showed up, he had an annoyed look on his face.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" He asked the group, who were all lying in a circle under a tree, staring up at the leaves. "After hearing that we're all stuck here, this is how you spend your time?"

"Nah, Butters is asking around if anyone can help."

"Butters is lying down with you."

"Have you ever noticed how pretty trees are?" Butters said.

"You guys know that there are riots going on all over the city, right? Do you really think it's smart to just lay around like sitting ducks?"

Stan sat up. "Cartman, aren't you… mad at us?"

"Yeah, It's our fault this all happened." Craig added.

"Coarse I'm pissed! But lying around isn't gonna do us any good, is it?"

"I guess not…" Stan stood up. "C'mon guys, Cartman's right. We should probably get up."

The group stood up. "Where should we go?" Stan asked.

"Hmm… just follow me…"

The group ended up in a fast food restaurant, sat at a large table, devouring lunch.

"Your right Cartman, this was a really good idea." Craig said.

Their lunch was interrupted when a monotone woman's voice spoke loudly from seemingly every direction. "Attention residents of Kucrion, this planet will be obliterated in T minus 72 hours. Please remain calm, as obliteration will be instant and undetectable. Thankyou."

"What the fuck? Where is that coming from?"

For the next few hours, the same voice repeated the remaining time every hour, subtracting the total number of hours by one each time, effectively freaking out the group of kids.

When five o'clock rolled around, everyone lined up in the hall, ready to ask just what the hell was going on.

" , what the hell's going on?" Stan asked.

"Well children, this is kinda hard for me to tell you, but unfortunately the U.G.C. has decided that due to this planet's no longer being of any use to them, they're gonna destroy it, along with all of its residents. From what I can tell this planet's gonna be nothing more that dust in less than 68 hours."

Everyone looked at the man with horrified expressions. "Wait but, isn't anyone gonna come rescue us?" Stan asked.

"Sorry Kids, but I really doubt that. You can all spend your time in here for the next few days if you want, but I'm not gonna be here anymore, it's every man for himself!" The man shouted, before running out of the building.

What followed was an array of screams shouts and yelling from the group.

"I don't wanna die man!"

"We're all gonna die!"

"I wanna go home!" Clyde whimpered in a puddle of his own tears as he rocked back and forth in the fetal position.

"Fuck this." Cartman said, and left for the cafeteria.

Everyone else eventually ended up there, but no one was touching their food, Except for Cartman who was chowing down, and didn't seem to give a damn.

The room was completely silent. It took a full twenty minutes for anyone to speak up.

"So this is it huh?" Kyle said. "It's over."

"Kyle, don't say that." His super best friend chipped in, trying to be optimistic.

"No, he's right." Craig said. "It's all over. For all of us."

"I'll never see my goldfish again." Clyde said, sadly.

"Mmmph mmph mmph mmph."

"I-I'm sad I'll never see my parents again."

"And you know wh-what the worst part is? The food. I mean, what's up w-with that?" Jimmy said. Every looked at him, confused. "Oh, I mean, these are qui-qui-quite solemn times for us all."

Everyone waited, but when nothing came, they all looked at Cartman, expecting him to add to their exchange of pity.

Cartman returned their looks with a glare. "Oh, screw this, I'm going to bed." And left.

Kyle laid in his bed, staring up, but periodically glancing at the door that separated his and Cartman's rooms. He feared confronting the boy, but decided to try. He got up, and walked up to the door and pressed the button, and stepped into the brunettes room.

"Hey Cartman." He said, sitting on the edge of Cartman's bed. Cartman was lying down but facing away from him.

"What do you want?"

"I was uh, just wondering how you were doing?"

The sound of rioting could be heard outside.

"Fucking terrific."

"Look, I'm sorry that I didn't believe you earlier. We all are."

"Whatever. It's not like I care what you guys think of me."

"Yeah, that's what I figured." Kyle said, "But then why are you acting so standoffish?"

Cartman pulled his pillow closer to his chest. "Cartman?"

Kyle was a little bewildered by Cartman's silence, until he heard the sound of a muffled whimper.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kyle asked.

"Just go away." Cartman said, his voice wavered slightly. "I don't want to talk right now."

Kyle picked his brain for what he could say or do to correct the situation. He reached his hand out toward the boy. "Cartman, I-"

Suddenly, Cartman sat up and threw the pillow at Kyle in a fit of anger. "I said go away! Just leave me alone you stupid ginger jew! I don't want to see you right now!" Cartman yelled, not bothering to wipe the tears out of his eyes. He crumbled back down on his bed, facing away and holding himself close, trying to hold back the sounds of himself sniffling. "...Just go away…"

Kyle felt a pang of empathy for the boy, and tested the waters by crawling on the bed and laying behind the boy. When Cartman gave no negative reaction to this, he rubbed the brunettes arm. "Dude, It's going to be okay."

Cartman made a sound like he was trying to hold back a whimper, before flipping around and burying his face in Kyle's chest, and beginning to cry.

"-Woah!" Kyle said in surprise, but held the boy close, and shut his eyes tightly, trying to hold back all the emotions he to was feeling. But being held in Cartman's arms made him feel so safe and warm, that he wasn't sure he could.

He felt a single tear roll down his cheek, but did his best to focus on comforting the hefty brunette in his arms.*********

Stan tugged on his friend's arm. "C'mon Kyle, wake up."

"Wua-huh?" Kyle sat up and wiped some of the drool from his chin.

"Look, I don't wanna know, alright? But you need to get up. There's gonna be a meeting in the cafeteria in five minutes, so hurry up. I'll see you there."

"Okay, I'll be there." Stan left, and Kyle shook Cartman awake. "Cartman, wake up." Cartman opened his eyes and sat up. "Meeting in the cafeteria in 5. See you there." Kyle said, before leaving to get ready.

The two boys got to the meeting just in time, and sat down with all their other friends.

"What are we gonna do? We can't just st-stay here!" Tweek said.

"Yeah, but there's a bunch of rioting outside. We can't just waltz outside as we please." Stan replied.

"Maybe It's not so bad." Craig reasoned.

"Oh really?" Red asked, and pulled the large curtain to show a window, where they got a full few of the fire layden, half destroyed once-metropolis. As if on cue, A bottle crashed thru the window.

"Holy shit."

"Quick, someone patch that window!" Stan shouted, and a couple of the boys got to it.

"Oh god! We really are gonna die!"

"Now now, c'mon guys, we've gotten thru worse!" Stan assured the group, "Besides, we have our pagers, I'm sure those will come in handy if we split up!"

"Are you implying that _we_ ," Craig gestured to the lot of them, "are going out _there_?"

"Well we can't stay here." Kyle said.

"Kyle's right." Stan said, "That's why our best bet is to split into groups and with as much caution as possible, ask around to see if anyone out there knows a way to stop the U.G.C. from blowing this place up."

"Well you do what you want but us girls are staying here where it's safe." Annie said. "Yeah!" the rest of the girls cheered. "And were keeping Timmy here with us!"

"Jesus christ, Timmy's here?!"

"Timmy!"

"Fine," Stan said, "But the rest of us are gonna try to find a way off this planet before it's bombed. Right guys?"

Everyone looked around. "Uh, sure."

"Alright. Jimmy, Kyle and Token can be a team one, Craig, Tweek and Cartman can be team two, And that leaves me with Butters, Kenny and Clyde, and we'll be team three. Now let's head out!"

As the groups dispersed, being as careful as they could, Cartman grabbed Kyle's arm. "Kyle, come with me."

Cartman began guiding Kyle down a specific path.

"Where are we going? What about our groups?"

"Were ditching' them. We'll have a better chance of succeeding if we split up even more. Besides, I have an idea."

"The mayor's office?" Kyle asked, as they stepped inside the building. "Man, this place is a wreck!"

"Yeah, now try to find the mayor, he's pry hiding in here somewhere."

"Good idea, let's try his office."

The two stepped inside, and found the man rustling around in his desk, frantically shoving items in his pockets.

" ?"

"Gah! Oh, you kids startled me!" The alien said, clutching his chest.

"How could you let this happen to your city? I mean, have you looked out your window? The city's full of rioting and fires! Can't you do something about it?"

"I'm afraid not, kid. And what would be the point huh? This whole planet's gonna be nothing more than dust soon, thanks to the U.G.C. deeming us 'unnecessary.'"

"But can't you do something about it?" Kyle asked, "I mean you're the mayor!"

The alien shook his head sadly, "Nothing I can do." The man jammed another item in his pocket, "Well, except this."

Kyle took the paper from the man's hand. "What's this?"

"It's an offer the U.G.C. made to me a long time ago. They were asking to turn our planet into a extraction unit where they would harvest all the planet's oil and natural resources in return for continuing to send funds to our city."

"If we told them we accepted this offer, would they change their mind about blowing it up?"

"I imagine." The alien replied.

"Then why the hell haven't you done it yet?" Cartman asked,

"I can't without the approval of the majority of the citizens, and when this was up for agreement, almost everyone voted no."

"I'm getting the distinct impression that everyone in this town is actually really stupid." Kyle said comically before slamming the paper on the mayor's desk. "Well hurry up and tell them you accept!"

"I can't without the citizens approval-"

"You're not going to have citizens if you don't!"

A familiar female voice could be heard over the entire city in that moment as it said: "Time until complete planet obliteration has been changed from its previous 57 and a half hours, to one hour. Here at U.G.C. we recommend you use this time to say goodbye to loved ones, or practice your religion of choice."

"Holy shit dude!" Kyle said frantically, "Dude, you better do this now!"

"Alright, alright," The mayor nervously took his phone out of his pocket, and dialed the number

The three of them could hear the sound of ringing on the other end when the mayor seemingly randomly freaked out, and let the phone drop onto his desk. "Look kids, I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with this kind of responsibility!"

"Where are you going?!" The mayor pressed a button, opening a pair of slide doors and crawling into what looked like a small escape pod.

"Sorry Kids, but your on your own!" He said before shutting the hatch and shooting away into space.

"Son of a bitch."

"Hello?"

"Cartman, quick, the phone!"

Cartman grabbed the phone, and the two stood close and listened.

"Is this some sort of prank call?" An annoyed female voice asked, in a tone that only an angsty teenager could make.

"It's not a prank! The mayor was calling your corporation, but he just left. Were calling to agree to an old deal to save the planet Kucreon from being destroyed."

"That so?" The voice asked. "Does this deal have a name…?"

"Uh, yeah it does." Kyle looked at the paper. "It's called the payment for resources deal. Were calling to approve it."

"And you are..?"

"What do we tell her?" Kyle whispered. Cartman took the phone.

"Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski from the intergalactic child exchange program."

"...Alrighty. Let me contact the head of the office for you boys." The two waited for a few moments until the woman returned to the line. "I'm afraid that you two aren't in a position to verify that deal. Only the Mayor is in position to do that."

"The mayor's gone! He left in some sort of escape pod."

"Well, the only other option is for whoever's next in line to verify it, which in your case would probably be the mayor's advisor."

"Shit, I don't even know if he has one!"

Cartman began rummaging thru a filing cabinet. "If he does, it would be recorded in here- aha!"

Cartman pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Kyle. "This is the guy."

Kyle looked at the name listed on the paper. "Hey, I think I've seen this name before!" Kyle grabbed Cartman and began dragging him out of the room, "It's a long shot, but I think I might know where this guy is!"

The two entered one of the few fast food restaurants that had not been burnt down or destroyed, and slid off their helmets, but stopped in shock at a table. "Stan?!"

All seven boys stopped eating and turned to look at the two. "Oh, uh, hey Kyle."

"What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"We uh, got hungry." Stan admitted.

Kyle stared at his best friend in shock. "Are you guys serious?!" Kyle glanced over the table again. "Wait, where's Kenny?"

Stan looked around. "He's… um…" Stan pointed at a window. "He's right over there. See? Safe and sound."

"Why is he outside?" Kyle asked.

Kenny waved at them all before a giant flaming barrel landed on him, crushing him to death.

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!" Kyle said, before adding, "Oh right! I'm sorta in the middle of something right now!" And walking up to the counter.

"Christoph?"

"Hello, may I take your order?"

"No, I'm not here to order food. I wanted to know if you were the mayor's advisor, Christoph Henderson?"

"Used to be. But He fired me a week ago." The man said.

"Oh. Did he tell anyone?"

"I don't think so."

"Then it never happened. As of now you're still his advisor." Kyle turned to Cartman. "Here, Cartman, hand me the phone."

Cartman did, and Kyle spoke into the phone, "Hello? You still there?"

"Unfortunately." She groaned.

Kyle handed the phone to the man. "Here. Tell this woman you're the Mayor's advisor and that you approve the payment for resources deal. It's this planet's only hope."

The man took the phone. "Uh, okay, H-hello? I'm the mayor's advisor, Christoph Henderson, and I'm approving the uh…" The man read the paper Kyle set down for him, "The… payment for resources deal?"

"Just a minute." The woman said.

The speakers over the city spoke again. "Planet obliteration in T minus 25 minutes."

"Holy shit, dude hurry up!"

"...Alrighty, your offer has been cleared. Looks like any and all plans to obliterate planet Kucreon will soon be cancelled, and ships will be on their way to begin preparation for resource extraction."

The familiar monotone woman's voice over the city spoke up once more, "Attention Citizens of Kucreon, due to altered circumstances, This planet is no longer subject to its previously predetermined destruction. Please return to your normal daily activities. Thank you."

As if on cue, the dark clouds over the city parted, allowing a ray of sunlight to fall over the restaurant.

"We did it!" Kyle said excitedly.

"Haha, Yeah, we did." Cartman said, letting out a chuckle of relief, before Kyle ran up to him, and wrapped him in a tight hug.

"I'm so happy!" Kyle said, before pulling back and kissing the boy in his arms.

"This is the weirdest dream I've ever had." Clyde said.

"This is the second time I've seen this!" Butters said a bit too enthusiastically.

"Oh, dude, Butters, I did not need to know that." Stan said.

Cartman gently pushed Kyle off him, blushing slightly. "Jesus Kyle, remember where we are…"

Kyle blushed a little too. "Oh yeah…" Kyle stepped away from him, and addressing no one in particular began to say, "But you know what? I learned something today. I learned that-"

Cartman grabbed his arm, tugging. "No, Kyle, were not… were not doing that today."

"But-"

"Let's just head back to the base."*******

All of the children boarded the large vessel, ready to return to their home planet.

Their guidance counselor tipped his hat awkwardly. "Well I'll certainly miss you guys. Even though I, uh, abandoned you… but hey that's in the past."

"Alright, everyone take a seat and buckle up." A large female alien said in a bored voice, and Kyle slid his seatbelt on.

"Wait, so is what we did good or bad?" Stan asked everyone.

"Well we did save the planet from being destroyed, but now it's heavily polluted and going to be stripped of all its natural resources until it's nothing more than a barren wasteland."Kyle explained.

"So, basically… we kinda screwed this place over?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"Whatever. Screw this planet." Cartman said, putting his feet up.

The large door closed, and the inside of the shuttle went darker.

"Gee, I sure hope I don't get space sick."

"Shut up, Butters." Cartman said.

The shuttle burst to life emitting an almost deafening noise. But even so, A countdown could still be heard from outside. 3… 2… 1…

With a sudden jolt from the ship, Kyle felt something hit his head, and then everything went black.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Kyle blinked his eyes open, and sat up in his bed. He was in his bedroom. He groggily shuffled downstairs to see his family in the kitchen.

"Ah, Kyle, You're awake. Hurry up and eat breakfast. You don't want to be late for school, do you?" said.

"You sure slept in today, Kiddo." His dad said.

"My alarm didn't go off." Kyle said, making a bowl of cereal.

When Kyle got to the bus stop, he was met by his usual friends.

"Hey Kyle."

"Hey dudes."

As the four waited patiently for the bus to arrive, Kyle finally asked, "Um, Did any of you have a really long dream about being on another planet last night too?"

The three boys thought for a moment.

"Hmm, nope."

"Mmmph, mmph."

"...No, can't say I did."

"Oh."

A minute later, Butters showed up. "Heya Fellas! Guess what? Last night I had the weirdest dream, we were all-"

Cartman pushed Butters into the snow before he could finish his sentence. "Shut up Butters."********


End file.
